Thursday, August 26, 2004
I got an email from FM 949 that G Love is doing an exclusive concert for their listeners. DAMNIT! It's on Saturday afternoon at 3pm at The Casbah (sorry for the spoiler 949!), and I WANT TO GO! I could have requested "Baby Got Sauce" and said, "Remeber me? I'll rap with you if you let me!"
This will be my last entry until I return from Canada this weekend. I'll be there from 8/27 to 8/30, and back online on 8/31. I'm both excited and anxious to see my mom. I need her here with me, but I know it will be difficult when she starts to sort through my dad's things in the garage. She retired from work and will be home all the time now.
I went to the doctor's this morning for a check up on my RSI (Repetative Strain Injury). It's much better now, but I did aggravate it doing all the work on the house. I go back for a check up at the end of Sept (before I go to Vegas).
I am in awe of myself that I'm maintaining my diet so well. I have definitely lost a size, and I can tell now. I could tell when I started to wear my old jeans that I loved but gained weight, but I can see it physically. And I know to some of you out there that going from a size 7 back down to a 5 is no big deal, but it really was to me. I hated that I fluctuated between a 7 and 9, rather than just be a solid size 5. Once my mom comes back, then I'll start exercising again. I stopped because of all the work I'm doing at home.
I actually don't miss eating a lot of the junk I was eating. I like the regulation I have during the week, because it allows me to eat what I want in the evening. But even though I know I could eat what I want (carbs included!), I still stick to my diet because I find that I can't eat as much as I used to. Honestly, a meal at Claim Jumper would probably last me 3 days if I were to take home the left-overs.
Weaknesses: Coffee, cheesecake, and cookies.
I got my nails done yesterday. OMG it's SO nice to have manicured hands. I feel confident now to use my hands in expression. I hate not having nails now...(damnit UNLV for getting me addicted!) I need to always have them done because they look so nice. Now I need a pedicure, and a haircut!
Alright, more in a little bit :)
This will be my last entry until I return from Canada this weekend. I'll be there from 8/27 to 8/30, and back online on 8/31. I'm both excited and anxious to see my mom. I need her here with me, but I know it will be difficult when she starts to sort through my dad's things in the garage. She retired from work and will be home all the time now.
I went to the doctor's this morning for a check up on my RSI (Repetative Strain Injury). It's much better now, but I did aggravate it doing all the work on the house. I go back for a check up at the end of Sept (before I go to Vegas).
I am in awe of myself that I'm maintaining my diet so well. I have definitely lost a size, and I can tell now. I could tell when I started to wear my old jeans that I loved but gained weight, but I can see it physically. And I know to some of you out there that going from a size 7 back down to a 5 is no big deal, but it really was to me. I hated that I fluctuated between a 7 and 9, rather than just be a solid size 5. Once my mom comes back, then I'll start exercising again. I stopped because of all the work I'm doing at home.
I actually don't miss eating a lot of the junk I was eating. I like the regulation I have during the week, because it allows me to eat what I want in the evening. But even though I know I could eat what I want (carbs included!), I still stick to my diet because I find that I can't eat as much as I used to. Honestly, a meal at Claim Jumper would probably last me 3 days if I were to take home the left-overs.
Weaknesses: Coffee, cheesecake, and cookies.
I got my nails done yesterday. OMG it's SO nice to have manicured hands. I feel confident now to use my hands in expression. I hate not having nails now...(damnit UNLV for getting me addicted!) I need to always have them done because they look so nice. Now I need a pedicure, and a haircut!
Alright, more in a little bit :)
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Did you know that there is a 6 CARB CHEESECAKE out there?
Yes, it's true. As if seeing Mr. G Love wasn't good enough, I got to have my favorite dinner, salmon, AND a 6 carb cheesecake.
Ten text messaged me saying that she wanted Miso Salmon and cheesecake...and where else can you get that but THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. If ever there was a restaurant that catered to my every need and want THAT would be the one. Have John Mayer there doing a night time show and I think I'd be in heaven.
So I called her rather than trying to text message her because I was on my way to G. Love and traffic was horrible (lots of stop and go, you know the kind). And Ten knows that I feel about my cheesecake the way that Brooke Shields feels about her Calvin Klein jeans: Nothing comes between me and my cheesecake. NOTHING.
Of course, I said that I'd meet her after I see me some G. Love. I was STARVING after the little concert. I also got the chance to talk to UNLV and straighten somethings out. He was very sweet. While talking to him, I got myself lost and Ten had to call me to check up on me because she knows that it doesn't take as long as it did to get to her place as I had taken.
So we have our salmon dinners (I always have the herb crusted salmon...YUM!) and alcoholic bevereges (she had a white wine, I had a coffee/amaretto yummie concoction that I forget the name of), we have the 6 CARB CHEESECAKE.
Now, normally I'm thinking "if you're gonna have cheesecake anyway, you might as well have it ALL", but this was an awesome light cheesecake. I think that I might prefer it because when I have a big dinner, I don't like to have a heavy dessert, and normally any of the desserts there at The Cheesecake Factory are pretty heavy and wonderful. This was a nice light alternative.
So it really was a nice day yesterday. If you had thrown in John Mayer in the mix, it would have been PERFECT.
Maybe if I were to win the lottery I could pull that off. I'd like a concert where G. Love opens up for John Mayer, then a small but powerful set by Dave Gahan (if I can't have Depeche Mode all there). Then we all go for cheesecake and coffee my own personally owned Cheesecake Factory, and I'd invite Ten, UNLV and any of my close friends for the little decadent shindig.
I'm buying those Lotto tickets after work today :)
(And YES, CHEESECAKE deserves to be it's own color, thank you very much)
Did you know that there is a 6 CARB CHEESECAKE out there?
Yes, it's true. As if seeing Mr. G Love wasn't good enough, I got to have my favorite dinner, salmon, AND a 6 carb cheesecake.
Ten text messaged me saying that she wanted Miso Salmon and cheesecake...and where else can you get that but THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. If ever there was a restaurant that catered to my every need and want THAT would be the one. Have John Mayer there doing a night time show and I think I'd be in heaven.
So I called her rather than trying to text message her because I was on my way to G. Love and traffic was horrible (lots of stop and go, you know the kind). And Ten knows that I feel about my cheesecake the way that Brooke Shields feels about her Calvin Klein jeans: Nothing comes between me and my cheesecake. NOTHING.
Of course, I said that I'd meet her after I see me some G. Love. I was STARVING after the little concert. I also got the chance to talk to UNLV and straighten somethings out. He was very sweet. While talking to him, I got myself lost and Ten had to call me to check up on me because she knows that it doesn't take as long as it did to get to her place as I had taken.
So we have our salmon dinners (I always have the herb crusted salmon...YUM!) and alcoholic bevereges (she had a white wine, I had a coffee/amaretto yummie concoction that I forget the name of), we have the 6 CARB CHEESECAKE.
Now, normally I'm thinking "if you're gonna have cheesecake anyway, you might as well have it ALL", but this was an awesome light cheesecake. I think that I might prefer it because when I have a big dinner, I don't like to have a heavy dessert, and normally any of the desserts there at The Cheesecake Factory are pretty heavy and wonderful. This was a nice light alternative.
So it really was a nice day yesterday. If you had thrown in John Mayer in the mix, it would have been PERFECT.
Maybe if I were to win the lottery I could pull that off. I'd like a concert where G. Love opens up for John Mayer, then a small but powerful set by Dave Gahan (if I can't have Depeche Mode all there). Then we all go for cheesecake and coffee my own personally owned Cheesecake Factory, and I'd invite Ten, UNLV and any of my close friends for the little decadent shindig.
I'm buying those Lotto tickets after work today :)
(And YES, CHEESECAKE deserves to be it's own color, thank you very much)
Awwww...G Love was FUN yesterday! It was a very short set (in no particular order):
The Hustle
Love
Don't Drop It
Give It To You
Blues Music
Booty Call
Back Of The Bus
Astronaut
As you can see, the only "oldie but goodie" was Blues Music. So DAMN, no Baby Got Sauce...but...
There was a signing afterwards, and Garrett (the "G" of G. Love) asked for my name to sign on the album, and said, "Thank you Sigh so much for coming to the show." I said, "Seeing you up there makes me wish I was rapping again..." and he just sat back and said, "You rap?" I said it's been long time since I flowed, and he said, "Girl, you should have said something, I would have got you up there! We could have jammed! I'm SERIOUS!" They each thanked me again for coming and I told them that I had a great time (i shook each of their hands...I know, so formal, lol!). I didn't take a picture with them, but of them (I had driven there from work and wasn't feeling very cute). I'll have to post them when I get them developed.
I think Mr. G Love has a thing for Asian woman (although he didn't try to hit on me, LOL...I think I was overdressed in a t-shirt, jeans and hoodie...I just wasn't naked enough!). In one song, he said something about "I go for the Mai Tai with the big brown eyes". And there were these girls right before me who were tiny scantily clad (tiny cut off mini skirts, the ruffly kind, and barely there tank tops) Japanese (possibly Korean) girls to whom he FULL ON said, "Yeah, I know you 2, I was watching you from the stage..." and kept telling them to not leave and go over and talk to his manager/producer (I did not witness that exchange with anyone else in line, and they were they only girls talking to his manager).
He DID say he was gonna get a booty call last night, LOL...plus, he broke up with his girlfriend. If you listen to "The Hustle" album, you can hear the anger ("Astonaut") and the fact that he's just looking for some poonani ("Booty Call").
G Love is a cute guy in person. He's that tall lanky kinda guy with baby face (kinda like UNLV), with this funny Philly drawl and blues mentality. Talented guitarist (although I think John Mayer is far better), and a knack for that hip hop thang.
T'was a fun time. I love it that the times that I've seen G Love & Special Sauce in concert were both FREE!
The Hustle
Love
Don't Drop It
Give It To You
Blues Music
Booty Call
Back Of The Bus
Astronaut
As you can see, the only "oldie but goodie" was Blues Music. So DAMN, no Baby Got Sauce...but...
There was a signing afterwards, and Garrett (the "G" of G. Love) asked for my name to sign on the album, and said, "Thank you Sigh so much for coming to the show." I said, "Seeing you up there makes me wish I was rapping again..." and he just sat back and said, "You rap?" I said it's been long time since I flowed, and he said, "Girl, you should have said something, I would have got you up there! We could have jammed! I'm SERIOUS!" They each thanked me again for coming and I told them that I had a great time (i shook each of their hands...I know, so formal, lol!). I didn't take a picture with them, but of them (I had driven there from work and wasn't feeling very cute). I'll have to post them when I get them developed.
I think Mr. G Love has a thing for Asian woman (although he didn't try to hit on me, LOL...I think I was overdressed in a t-shirt, jeans and hoodie...I just wasn't naked enough!). In one song, he said something about "I go for the Mai Tai with the big brown eyes". And there were these girls right before me who were tiny scantily clad (tiny cut off mini skirts, the ruffly kind, and barely there tank tops) Japanese (possibly Korean) girls to whom he FULL ON said, "Yeah, I know you 2, I was watching you from the stage..." and kept telling them to not leave and go over and talk to his manager/producer (I did not witness that exchange with anyone else in line, and they were they only girls talking to his manager).
He DID say he was gonna get a booty call last night, LOL...plus, he broke up with his girlfriend. If you listen to "The Hustle" album, you can hear the anger ("Astonaut") and the fact that he's just looking for some poonani ("Booty Call").
G Love is a cute guy in person. He's that tall lanky kinda guy with baby face (kinda like UNLV), with this funny Philly drawl and blues mentality. Talented guitarist (although I think John Mayer is far better), and a knack for that hip hop thang.
T'was a fun time. I love it that the times that I've seen G Love & Special Sauce in concert were both FREE!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I feel like crawling in a hole. I feel like I need to just stop bothering everyone with my problems. I feel like I'm talking about the same thing over and over, and I don't know what else to do about it.
I think I need to see a shrink.
I think I need to see a shrink.
So...I put up that horoscope yesterday, and yet I absolutely did not heed it. But you know, as I said before...I'm all over the place. My emotions are on haywire right now. I think I can handle things, but then I hit a snag, and it's all out the window.
I think I'm trying too hard to "do it all". I think that I can be stronger than I am, and I'm really not sometimes. I know a lot of what I'm going through may not be so rational. My thoughts float between rational and irrational, and I'm reading that "it's ok to be that way right now".
I'm TIRED of being that way, but I can't help it. I look around at everything that I've done with my room and the bathroom, and I see the new furniture and new fixtures and realize that I did this BECAUSE of my situation. I can't get away from it. Even when I go away, I know that I'm able to get away because of the money my dad left my family. When I get a new condo, it's because of my daddy. And yes, it's because he wanted us to be well taken care of, but I WOULD TRADE IT ALL IN IF I COULD HAVE MY DADDY ALIVE AGAIN.
I think I'm trying too hard to "do it all". I think that I can be stronger than I am, and I'm really not sometimes. I know a lot of what I'm going through may not be so rational. My thoughts float between rational and irrational, and I'm reading that "it's ok to be that way right now".
I'm TIRED of being that way, but I can't help it. I look around at everything that I've done with my room and the bathroom, and I see the new furniture and new fixtures and realize that I did this BECAUSE of my situation. I can't get away from it. Even when I go away, I know that I'm able to get away because of the money my dad left my family. When I get a new condo, it's because of my daddy. And yes, it's because he wanted us to be well taken care of, but I WOULD TRADE IT ALL IN IF I COULD HAVE MY DADDY ALIVE AGAIN.
Monday, August 23, 2004
I want a cookie.
I think I'll go to the mall and get one.
...and I want John Mayer.
Do you think I can go to the mall and get one of those?
I think I'll go to the mall and get one.
...and I want John Mayer.
Do you think I can go to the mall and get one of those?
Taurus
Remember that old chestnut about thinking before you speak? Well, keep it in mind today -- saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could have reverberations beyond your control. Know your material and your audience at all times. Most importantly, be aware of your strength. Pause from time to time to gauge the effect of your actions. Any move that you make now could have long-term repercussions. Before you go any further, stop and have a heart-to-heart with yourself.
I'm SO glad my horoscope said that today. I would have done something very foolish because I was acting on an emotional moment, but decided to not do it because of my horoscope.
It's amazing how something reaches from the beyond and shakes your world up a little bit, like a sign. If I hadn't read that, I might have done something I could have regretted. I definitely DO have to know my own strength because I am strong. I'm not weak, I'm just tired...and I have to know the difference.
I definitely belive in signs. This was a sign. Direct at me. No kidding...
Ok, a much happier note (today will be FILLED with randomness, so please bear with me): G Love & Special Sauce (philadelphonic.com) will be making an appearance in Encinitas tomorrow at Lou's Records @ 6pm, and I'm DEFINITELY going. I really liked them when I saw them at 4th & B last year with Hoobastank and Jack Johnson (91X toy drive concert), and I just wanna get an autograph...and hopefully they'll do a performance, since I'm going to miss them at Street Scene this weekend.
I'm sure I'll be posting more later...
Remember that old chestnut about thinking before you speak? Well, keep it in mind today -- saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could have reverberations beyond your control. Know your material and your audience at all times. Most importantly, be aware of your strength. Pause from time to time to gauge the effect of your actions. Any move that you make now could have long-term repercussions. Before you go any further, stop and have a heart-to-heart with yourself.
I'm SO glad my horoscope said that today. I would have done something very foolish because I was acting on an emotional moment, but decided to not do it because of my horoscope.
It's amazing how something reaches from the beyond and shakes your world up a little bit, like a sign. If I hadn't read that, I might have done something I could have regretted. I definitely DO have to know my own strength because I am strong. I'm not weak, I'm just tired...and I have to know the difference.
I definitely belive in signs. This was a sign. Direct at me. No kidding...
Ok, a much happier note (today will be FILLED with randomness, so please bear with me): G Love & Special Sauce (philadelphonic.com) will be making an appearance in Encinitas tomorrow at Lou's Records @ 6pm, and I'm DEFINITELY going. I really liked them when I saw them at 4th & B last year with Hoobastank and Jack Johnson (91X toy drive concert), and I just wanna get an autograph...and hopefully they'll do a performance, since I'm going to miss them at Street Scene this weekend.
I'm sure I'll be posting more later...
I dreamt about my dad for the first time in a long time, and I think that I was talking to him and he was telling me that everything it going to be ok without him.
I woke up sobbing.
I woke up sobbing.
I guess I can't use the fancy HTML versions when I Blog from home. No problem.
I finished a LOT of sorting today. I condensed my files, and shredded a lot of old bills. They say that you're supposed to keep things at least 2 years old, but I ended up shredding anything 2002 and back. I just kept things that were from last year and this year.
It's weird...you get in a groove when doing something, and the next thing you know it's already a week later! I pick up my mom on Friday already. I'm just about done with my room. I'm getting rid of a bookcase, a desk, a bunch of shoes, & some books. I set up a pick up with Salvation Army this Wed. I'm going to buy another bookcase (I think I'm gonna get a cheaper one that I saw at Wal Mart rather than spend another $50 at Ikea). I just need a place to put all my shotglasses until I set up a cool new bar or curio when I get my new place with my mom.
I got so busy that I had to visit my dad on Saturday, and I skipped my nail appointment AGAIN and had to reschedule it for Wed.
I haven't heard from UNLV all week. We typically talk a few times a week, and I guess I just wanted to see how much of it was me that initiated it...and it looks like it's ALL ME. I thought maybe he would call me just to say hi at least, but I know he's trying to get another house done for his mom before he starts school...and I think he went away or something this weekend. He didn't tell me, but I think I saw something on his calendar when we were trying to look at what dates we wanted to see Aretha Franklin in Sept.
I guess since we've been back in touch again for this entire year (since last Aug), we've talked practically every week, except for when he or I go on a trip. You get used to something, and it's strange when it doesn't happen. He's my best friend, and I miss him a lot now that he's in Vegas. Oh well...he's got a whole seperate life with other friends and school. We said that I'd go up there every month, which I have. This will just be a longer stint than usual. I combined July and Aug, so I'm going back up in late Sept.
I guess I just feel like I'm bothering him, so I'm just concentrating my own thing. I guess it's just some old memories of when we were dating. It's so much beter now, and I don't want to aggravate anything now that we're such good friends.
I'm excited to see my mom. I've never been away from my parents longer than 2 weeks (funny "Can't Hardly Wait" by The Replacements is playing on my iTunes as I write this...), so being without my father forever now, and my mom being in Canada is a whole new expreience for me.
My mom said that we'd be taking trips to Philippines and Italy next year. She also said that she may go back to Canada for Christmas this year, since she knows this will be a very difficult holiday season for her. I may go to Canada for Christmas, too if she's up there. I don't know how I'd be able to handle seeing everyone here in San Diego without my dad around. It would hurt too much.
I miss my daddy so much right now. It's been a little while since I've cried this much. I know it's because of the Chargers. I know that sounds a little silly, but my dad and I would do my office football pool together, and he knows I'm a very big Chargers fan, so I would lose the pools at work because I refuse to choose against the Chargers. It's pre-season right now, and I believe they lost against the Colts last week, but won against Arizona on Sat (38-13, whoo hoo!). Football season will be bittersweet this year if the Chargers do well.
Ok, off to bed. Good night :)
I finished a LOT of sorting today. I condensed my files, and shredded a lot of old bills. They say that you're supposed to keep things at least 2 years old, but I ended up shredding anything 2002 and back. I just kept things that were from last year and this year.
It's weird...you get in a groove when doing something, and the next thing you know it's already a week later! I pick up my mom on Friday already. I'm just about done with my room. I'm getting rid of a bookcase, a desk, a bunch of shoes, & some books. I set up a pick up with Salvation Army this Wed. I'm going to buy another bookcase (I think I'm gonna get a cheaper one that I saw at Wal Mart rather than spend another $50 at Ikea). I just need a place to put all my shotglasses until I set up a cool new bar or curio when I get my new place with my mom.
I got so busy that I had to visit my dad on Saturday, and I skipped my nail appointment AGAIN and had to reschedule it for Wed.
I haven't heard from UNLV all week. We typically talk a few times a week, and I guess I just wanted to see how much of it was me that initiated it...and it looks like it's ALL ME. I thought maybe he would call me just to say hi at least, but I know he's trying to get another house done for his mom before he starts school...and I think he went away or something this weekend. He didn't tell me, but I think I saw something on his calendar when we were trying to look at what dates we wanted to see Aretha Franklin in Sept.
I guess since we've been back in touch again for this entire year (since last Aug), we've talked practically every week, except for when he or I go on a trip. You get used to something, and it's strange when it doesn't happen. He's my best friend, and I miss him a lot now that he's in Vegas. Oh well...he's got a whole seperate life with other friends and school. We said that I'd go up there every month, which I have. This will just be a longer stint than usual. I combined July and Aug, so I'm going back up in late Sept.
I guess I just feel like I'm bothering him, so I'm just concentrating my own thing. I guess it's just some old memories of when we were dating. It's so much beter now, and I don't want to aggravate anything now that we're such good friends.
I'm excited to see my mom. I've never been away from my parents longer than 2 weeks (funny "Can't Hardly Wait" by The Replacements is playing on my iTunes as I write this...), so being without my father forever now, and my mom being in Canada is a whole new expreience for me.
My mom said that we'd be taking trips to Philippines and Italy next year. She also said that she may go back to Canada for Christmas this year, since she knows this will be a very difficult holiday season for her. I may go to Canada for Christmas, too if she's up there. I don't know how I'd be able to handle seeing everyone here in San Diego without my dad around. It would hurt too much.
I miss my daddy so much right now. It's been a little while since I've cried this much. I know it's because of the Chargers. I know that sounds a little silly, but my dad and I would do my office football pool together, and he knows I'm a very big Chargers fan, so I would lose the pools at work because I refuse to choose against the Chargers. It's pre-season right now, and I believe they lost against the Colts last week, but won against Arizona on Sat (38-13, whoo hoo!). Football season will be bittersweet this year if the Chargers do well.
Ok, off to bed. Good night :)
Friday, August 20, 2004
I put together my wardrobe and bookcase last night. That bookcase is TALL! I had to adhere it to the wall for fear of being burried under it just for reaching for a Depeche Mode DVD.
"Maimed by The Mode" would not be a good headline.
I bought 3 movies today at Tower Records, and I swear I felt like the guy at the register was going to ask me out because of my movie selection. Each movie he picked up was like, "Wow...that is a GREAT movie, oh and so is THAT one, and this is a cool re-release! You picked ALL good movies!"
Jawbreaker
Cruel Intentions (Collector's Edition)
The Lost Boys (Special Edition 2 Disc Set)
I also bought a little cabinet, some pretty towels, and an over the door towel rack to complete the bathroom. I just need to put up the other shelf and contemplate buying another one or not. Then it's the pictures and I'm DONE! I have one more dresser to assmble, and I think I need to buy another smaller bookcase because I failed to remember to get something for my shot glasses!
There's a local artist that I'm digging right now named Pete Thurston. You can hear him every Friday morning at about 730am doing his musical movie reviews on 91X. SOOOOO funny and musically talented! So he said on the radio this morning that he's nominated for the San Diego Music Awards. I checked out his site and a little pop up came up to vote for him...so I did, AND I emailed him on his site to let him know. He responded...twice! Once because of the first email I sent, and the second because I just bought his CD's, a button and a sticker (the total for the whole package came to a whopping $19!). Niiiice guy, isn't he? I explained that I didn't want to buy a shirt yet because I hate to wear shirts of people I've not seen in concert because people ask, "When did you see (insert artist) in concert?" and you have to explain that you didn't and they look at you like you're a loser. He said that it's ok, I'll just have to get out to a show and see him so I can pick one up there, lol.
I have to visit my daddy today, go to the realtor to drop off the paperwork, get the other paperwork together for another set of retirement/death benefits paperwork, put together the rest of the furniture and bathroom...WHEW!
Sorry to those who I have neglected to respond to as of late. I can SEE that phone call, email, or page...but then I get going and I forget to respond. When I get back from Canada...things should be more normal...until my mom and I get my new condo...then it's BUSY BUSY BUSY again!
John Mayer RULES. That is all.
"Maimed by The Mode" would not be a good headline.
I bought 3 movies today at Tower Records, and I swear I felt like the guy at the register was going to ask me out because of my movie selection. Each movie he picked up was like, "Wow...that is a GREAT movie, oh and so is THAT one, and this is a cool re-release! You picked ALL good movies!"
Jawbreaker
Cruel Intentions (Collector's Edition)
The Lost Boys (Special Edition 2 Disc Set)
I also bought a little cabinet, some pretty towels, and an over the door towel rack to complete the bathroom. I just need to put up the other shelf and contemplate buying another one or not. Then it's the pictures and I'm DONE! I have one more dresser to assmble, and I think I need to buy another smaller bookcase because I failed to remember to get something for my shot glasses!
There's a local artist that I'm digging right now named Pete Thurston. You can hear him every Friday morning at about 730am doing his musical movie reviews on 91X. SOOOOO funny and musically talented! So he said on the radio this morning that he's nominated for the San Diego Music Awards. I checked out his site and a little pop up came up to vote for him...so I did, AND I emailed him on his site to let him know. He responded...twice! Once because of the first email I sent, and the second because I just bought his CD's, a button and a sticker (the total for the whole package came to a whopping $19!). Niiiice guy, isn't he? I explained that I didn't want to buy a shirt yet because I hate to wear shirts of people I've not seen in concert because people ask, "When did you see (insert artist) in concert?" and you have to explain that you didn't and they look at you like you're a loser. He said that it's ok, I'll just have to get out to a show and see him so I can pick one up there, lol.
I have to visit my daddy today, go to the realtor to drop off the paperwork, get the other paperwork together for another set of retirement/death benefits paperwork, put together the rest of the furniture and bathroom...WHEW!
Sorry to those who I have neglected to respond to as of late. I can SEE that phone call, email, or page...but then I get going and I forget to respond. When I get back from Canada...things should be more normal...until my mom and I get my new condo...then it's BUSY BUSY BUSY again!
John Mayer RULES. That is all.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
I've put off really thinking about my dad being gone lately. I think it's because I've been so busy, but now it's a little more forefront because I'm going to be picking up my mom from Canada next week (can you believe it?).
I think I've done what my mom has done which is convince myself that he is on some extended vacation and that he's going to come back and say "Hi, sorry I've been away for so long!"
But we all know that's not going to happen.
Ok, I have to stop tying this because it's making me cry at work.
I think I've done what my mom has done which is convince myself that he is on some extended vacation and that he's going to come back and say "Hi, sorry I've been away for so long!"
But we all know that's not going to happen.
Ok, I have to stop tying this because it's making me cry at work.
Have I spoken of the wonder that is iTunes?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE iTunes. I cannot WAIT to get my iPod. I used to really like Music Match, but iTunes is far superior. I can adjust the levels, the fader, and I love that my lists of music become like an eclectic radio station for MOI. I can have John Mayer, followed by Jamie Cullum, then a little Duran Duran and New Kids On The Block...yeah THAT'S RIGHT...I still covet the NKOTB. Don't front.
I'm going to buy more memory when I get back from Canada so that I can upload the newest iTunes.
Ten and I went to dinner last night. It was fun...we went to CPK, and I can't eat a lot anymore, so I have major leftovers for lunch today. Then we went to ULTA, which is like Sephora on crack (and a little cheaper). It is INSANE in there. I signed up for their members points card, and I got a cute little make up bag (houndstooth print with PINK trim!), and a travel bag. The colors I got for lipstick, blush and nail polish are awesome. I think I look better in very brown hues with hints of red. The colors I got were very natural. I also got a new fragance by Ana Sui called "Dolly Girl", which smells very sweet and clean. I got UNLV to smell it when we were in Vegas and he liked it. When we dated, he hated when I wore Plumeria from Bath and Body, but doesn't mind my CK One. He like the Dolly Girl. It's always good to get a guy's opinion on fragrance (especially someone you like) because it's a good barometer for what other guys will like.
I also went to Victoria's Secret yesterday and treated myself to a new Angel's bra and pretty low rise thongs (string). Yes, I am sharing that with you all, but you don't mind, right? Everyone likes pretty underwear...admit it.
I went home and finished my CD/DVD tower, installed the larger shelf and towel racks in the bathroom, and raised the bathroom mirror about 4 more inches so that people aren't looking at their crotch when they wash their hands. That was very disconcerting to me, so I had to move it up and patch and paint the wall. I'm adding a shelf to the bottom of the mirror, and another shelf above the electrical outlet on the wall to the left of the mirror for a plant. I'm then adding a few little cute Asian inspired pictures (cheap Ikea postcards and frames).
The rest of my furniture comes today, so then I can put the magazines that are on the shelves of my closet in the bookshelf, take out my frequently worn jackets and put them in the new wardrobe, and put together the last chest of drawers and finally clear out my mom's room of all my clothes.
Again, I have to say that I must commend UNLV on his remodeling efforts. I kinda repremanded him about a month ago for not being as attentive a best friend as he could have been...but doing these house repairs and bathroom remodel, I realize what an undertaking it is to do TWO houses back to back ESPECIALLY in the Vegas heat. My stuff is minor. I'll be done by this weekend. He's doing another TWO houses before the end of this month because he starts school August 30th. I've seen his efforts and he did an amazing job.
But hey...for someone who has never painted a room in her life by herself, put up any shelves, towell racks, furniture or anything totally alone...I did pretty good for myself! *pats back* Those of you who are my close personal friends, I hope you stop by to see my handywork.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE iTunes. I cannot WAIT to get my iPod. I used to really like Music Match, but iTunes is far superior. I can adjust the levels, the fader, and I love that my lists of music become like an eclectic radio station for MOI. I can have John Mayer, followed by Jamie Cullum, then a little Duran Duran and New Kids On The Block...yeah THAT'S RIGHT...I still covet the NKOTB. Don't front.
I'm going to buy more memory when I get back from Canada so that I can upload the newest iTunes.
Ten and I went to dinner last night. It was fun...we went to CPK, and I can't eat a lot anymore, so I have major leftovers for lunch today. Then we went to ULTA, which is like Sephora on crack (and a little cheaper). It is INSANE in there. I signed up for their members points card, and I got a cute little make up bag (houndstooth print with PINK trim!), and a travel bag. The colors I got for lipstick, blush and nail polish are awesome. I think I look better in very brown hues with hints of red. The colors I got were very natural. I also got a new fragance by Ana Sui called "Dolly Girl", which smells very sweet and clean. I got UNLV to smell it when we were in Vegas and he liked it. When we dated, he hated when I wore Plumeria from Bath and Body, but doesn't mind my CK One. He like the Dolly Girl. It's always good to get a guy's opinion on fragrance (especially someone you like) because it's a good barometer for what other guys will like.
I also went to Victoria's Secret yesterday and treated myself to a new Angel's bra and pretty low rise thongs (string). Yes, I am sharing that with you all, but you don't mind, right? Everyone likes pretty underwear...admit it.
I went home and finished my CD/DVD tower, installed the larger shelf and towel racks in the bathroom, and raised the bathroom mirror about 4 more inches so that people aren't looking at their crotch when they wash their hands. That was very disconcerting to me, so I had to move it up and patch and paint the wall. I'm adding a shelf to the bottom of the mirror, and another shelf above the electrical outlet on the wall to the left of the mirror for a plant. I'm then adding a few little cute Asian inspired pictures (cheap Ikea postcards and frames).
The rest of my furniture comes today, so then I can put the magazines that are on the shelves of my closet in the bookshelf, take out my frequently worn jackets and put them in the new wardrobe, and put together the last chest of drawers and finally clear out my mom's room of all my clothes.
Again, I have to say that I must commend UNLV on his remodeling efforts. I kinda repremanded him about a month ago for not being as attentive a best friend as he could have been...but doing these house repairs and bathroom remodel, I realize what an undertaking it is to do TWO houses back to back ESPECIALLY in the Vegas heat. My stuff is minor. I'll be done by this weekend. He's doing another TWO houses before the end of this month because he starts school August 30th. I've seen his efforts and he did an amazing job.
But hey...for someone who has never painted a room in her life by herself, put up any shelves, towell racks, furniture or anything totally alone...I did pretty good for myself! *pats back* Those of you who are my close personal friends, I hope you stop by to see my handywork.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
GOD DAMNIT...sometimes the internet HATES me!
Grrrr....!
I was just typing about how I was so tired last night. Basically I had gone grocery shopping to get everything for my lunches and dinners for the next week or so before I go to Canada (I treated myself to a "one cup coffee filter thing-a-majiggy" and a bag of Starbucks espresso roast, yum!). I got home about 7pm or so and cooked a steak and veggie dinner (even more yum!). After I ate, I started putting together my 3 drawer dresser Ikea special. That might have been at about 8pm.
At at about 10pm, I finished (it's SO different without another person and a drill helping, like I did when I was living with UNLV). My body practially caved in and I had to drag myself to bed just to lie down for a bit. I said to myself that it would only be for about 1 hour.
I woke up 5 hours later at 3am! I fell asleep and all the lights were on, the TV was blaring, and all my tools were scattered about.
I didn't shower, prepare my lunch or build my CD/DVD tower! I didn't think I was THAT tired, but I guess my body knew because the fog that I've been in for the last 3 days is gone. I feel rested now. Right after I woke up at 3am, I just cleaned up my mess and went back to bed. I actually got a full 8 hours of sleep yesterday!
I'm going to dinner with one of my good friends tonight. We chat on the phone all the time, but we're going to have a sit down dinner. I have to think of a name for her...we'll call her Ten (her birthday is on the 10th, mine is on the 8th of the same month...but I'm older by about 6 years). I was going to call her Banana (she works part time at Banana Republic), but that's not cool, LOL! She's had a lot happen to her in the last month, so it will be good to sit and chat with her before she goes to work at...LOL...Banana Republic! haha!
Ok, back to work.
Grrrr....!
I was just typing about how I was so tired last night. Basically I had gone grocery shopping to get everything for my lunches and dinners for the next week or so before I go to Canada (I treated myself to a "one cup coffee filter thing-a-majiggy" and a bag of Starbucks espresso roast, yum!). I got home about 7pm or so and cooked a steak and veggie dinner (even more yum!). After I ate, I started putting together my 3 drawer dresser Ikea special. That might have been at about 8pm.
At at about 10pm, I finished (it's SO different without another person and a drill helping, like I did when I was living with UNLV). My body practially caved in and I had to drag myself to bed just to lie down for a bit. I said to myself that it would only be for about 1 hour.
I woke up 5 hours later at 3am! I fell asleep and all the lights were on, the TV was blaring, and all my tools were scattered about.
I didn't shower, prepare my lunch or build my CD/DVD tower! I didn't think I was THAT tired, but I guess my body knew because the fog that I've been in for the last 3 days is gone. I feel rested now. Right after I woke up at 3am, I just cleaned up my mess and went back to bed. I actually got a full 8 hours of sleep yesterday!
I'm going to dinner with one of my good friends tonight. We chat on the phone all the time, but we're going to have a sit down dinner. I have to think of a name for her...we'll call her Ten (her birthday is on the 10th, mine is on the 8th of the same month...but I'm older by about 6 years). I was going to call her Banana (she works part time at Banana Republic), but that's not cool, LOL! She's had a lot happen to her in the last month, so it will be good to sit and chat with her before she goes to work at...LOL...Banana Republic! haha!
Ok, back to work.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I'm one tired puppy. All this housework and repairs is tiring. It makes me realize what UNLV has to go through, and I can't believe that he has worked on 2 houses already...is working on a 3rd and 4th now in the Vegas area. I just moved furniture around, redid a bathroom and cleaned and I'm absolutely sore. But the added stress is going to work, too in addition to everything else.
I want an iPod, and I want one now. But I have a $300 cell phone bill from talking to Canada all the time. YIKES! Thank GOD my mom is coming home soon.
I want an iPod, and I want one now. But I have a $300 cell phone bill from talking to Canada all the time. YIKES! Thank GOD my mom is coming home soon.
Taurus
You know your own mind so well that you start projecting thoughts into other people's heads. Be careful what you wish for -- you have a very good chance at getting it! Fun and romance go hand in hand tonight. Seduction is your strong suit at the moment, so use all of your charm to lure that special someone into your arms. Even as you satisfy yourself, be sure to use your powers for the good of all.
Hmmmm...so do you think John Mayer knows who I am yet? I'm supposedly clairvoyant today, so excuse me while I project some thoughts his way...haha.
So, my sister and I FINALLY talked last night. I had to break the ice, because I knew she wasn't. I let it all out. She kept going back to things that happened before my dad passed away...old habits and lazy tendancies that I have had. I explained that this is NOW and we have to grow up and take charge. She's a supervisor, and she needs to impliment what she does at work to her homelife, because it's different now. Dad is gone, and he's not coming back...so I said that she has to put those managerial skills into gear and take charge of her life.
I explained that the argument was no longer about us and our past, but about what her husband did. I told her how hurt I was that she didn't defend me, or reprimand her husband for that tone and language he used towards me.
Even though she and I have made amends (which I always planned on doing), her husband has said nothing. Which is actually fine by me.
You know your own mind so well that you start projecting thoughts into other people's heads. Be careful what you wish for -- you have a very good chance at getting it! Fun and romance go hand in hand tonight. Seduction is your strong suit at the moment, so use all of your charm to lure that special someone into your arms. Even as you satisfy yourself, be sure to use your powers for the good of all.
Hmmmm...so do you think John Mayer knows who I am yet? I'm supposedly clairvoyant today, so excuse me while I project some thoughts his way...haha.
So, my sister and I FINALLY talked last night. I had to break the ice, because I knew she wasn't. I let it all out. She kept going back to things that happened before my dad passed away...old habits and lazy tendancies that I have had. I explained that this is NOW and we have to grow up and take charge. She's a supervisor, and she needs to impliment what she does at work to her homelife, because it's different now. Dad is gone, and he's not coming back...so I said that she has to put those managerial skills into gear and take charge of her life.
I explained that the argument was no longer about us and our past, but about what her husband did. I told her how hurt I was that she didn't defend me, or reprimand her husband for that tone and language he used towards me.
Even though she and I have made amends (which I always planned on doing), her husband has said nothing. Which is actually fine by me.
Monday, August 16, 2004
You can tell when I'm bored because I'll post more than once in a day.
I don't want to be here at work today. I want to finish with the bathroom and with my room. I want to put things away and get all organized and shit.
I'm distracted. I get that way when I'm confused about something...and let me tell ya, I'm confused about a lot of things these days.
If I could take a vacation, I'd like to be 16. That would be a nice vacation. I didn't have bills, barely had relationship problems (wait, I don't have that now either), and it was ok to scream about Depeche Mode.
And oh yeah, my dad was still alive.
I don't want to be here at work today. I want to finish with the bathroom and with my room. I want to put things away and get all organized and shit.
I'm distracted. I get that way when I'm confused about something...and let me tell ya, I'm confused about a lot of things these days.
If I could take a vacation, I'd like to be 16. That would be a nice vacation. I didn't have bills, barely had relationship problems (wait, I don't have that now either), and it was ok to scream about Depeche Mode.
And oh yeah, my dad was still alive.
Why won't he play it here in Southern California? Why?
I read somewhere that he almost played it...it was on the setlist and everything. But he backed out at the last minute. Apparently, it was too much for him.
It's beautiful...and I know what place in his heart that must have come from, because I know that feeling all too well. It's so poigniant that it literally ripped me apart when I read the lyrics after hearing it live for the first time in August 2002.
I have never heard it live again since then.
Have you ever gone somewhere you didn't want to go, but secretly really wanted to because that person was there? Have you ever hoped you wouldn't run into someone, but died a little inside when you didn't? Have you ever driven somewhere and remembered, "That's where we used to go all the time..."? Have you ever wondered, "What happened to us?"?
Here is your song...
In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't know what it's like to land
And not race to your door
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I'm not sure that I really ever could
Hold on to the hotel key
of your bedroom neighborhood
We sleep walk in Hollywood
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
So I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I dont think I'm gonna go there anymore
I get lost on the boulevard at nite
Without your voice to tell me I love you, take a ride
Dinner for two is a lonely sight
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
I think I'm gonna stay
All the street lights say nevermind
All the canyon lines say nevermind
Sunset since we see it all the time, nevermind
I read somewhere that he almost played it...it was on the setlist and everything. But he backed out at the last minute. Apparently, it was too much for him.
It's beautiful...and I know what place in his heart that must have come from, because I know that feeling all too well. It's so poigniant that it literally ripped me apart when I read the lyrics after hearing it live for the first time in August 2002.
I have never heard it live again since then.
Have you ever gone somewhere you didn't want to go, but secretly really wanted to because that person was there? Have you ever hoped you wouldn't run into someone, but died a little inside when you didn't? Have you ever driven somewhere and remembered, "That's where we used to go all the time..."? Have you ever wondered, "What happened to us?"?
Here is your song...
In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't know what it's like to land
And not race to your door
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I'm not sure that I really ever could
Hold on to the hotel key
of your bedroom neighborhood
We sleep walk in Hollywood
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
So I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore
I dont think I'm gonna go there anymore
I get lost on the boulevard at nite
Without your voice to tell me I love you, take a ride
Dinner for two is a lonely sight
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you
I'm gonna steer clear
Burn up in your atmosphere
I'm gonna steer clear
Cus I'd die if I saw you
I'd die if I didn't see you there
I think I'm gonna stay
All the street lights say nevermind
All the canyon lines say nevermind
Sunset since we see it all the time, nevermind
Taurus
The stars may require certain sacrifices on your part right now, but don't worry -- it's all for the best. And while they may seem to be taking more than you would like to give at the moment, the truth is that it is only a matter of time before you realize that you never gave up anything of real value. So expect the unexpected as your values shift. By the afternoon, losing will look like winning if you don't get caught up in something that has nothing to do with you.
Yeah, so there's my horoscope for today. I highlight that part because I have come to the conclusion that my sister just isn't going to step up and apologize.
I painted the hallway bathroom yesterday. I called UNLV, who has done a lot of minor construcion for his mother as of late, and asked pointers on painting the bathroom...so I concluded that I would only do 1 coat of paint, because I just don't want to put anymore work into it than I have to. I'm going to buy towel racks, shelves, a shower curtain and some pictures...but that's it.
While I was painting, I saw that my sister and her husband were cleaning out the garage. I figured they were working as hard as I was, and I was impressed that they were getting stuff done. After I painted and cleaned up the bathroom, I decided to take a look at their handiwork...and what did I see? They did move some stuff and cleared shelf room...for...
REMOTE CONTROL CARS.
God DAMN IT! So I decided that I'm going to just talk to my sister. I'm going to talk, and she's going to listen. I'm tired of the scared little girl bullshit. Even if they aren't used to taking the bull by the horns and have been babied their whole lives...it's time to grow up, and it's time to do it now.
The stars may require certain sacrifices on your part right now, but don't worry -- it's all for the best. And while they may seem to be taking more than you would like to give at the moment, the truth is that it is only a matter of time before you realize that you never gave up anything of real value. So expect the unexpected as your values shift. By the afternoon, losing will look like winning if you don't get caught up in something that has nothing to do with you.
Yeah, so there's my horoscope for today. I highlight that part because I have come to the conclusion that my sister just isn't going to step up and apologize.
I painted the hallway bathroom yesterday. I called UNLV, who has done a lot of minor construcion for his mother as of late, and asked pointers on painting the bathroom...so I concluded that I would only do 1 coat of paint, because I just don't want to put anymore work into it than I have to. I'm going to buy towel racks, shelves, a shower curtain and some pictures...but that's it.
While I was painting, I saw that my sister and her husband were cleaning out the garage. I figured they were working as hard as I was, and I was impressed that they were getting stuff done. After I painted and cleaned up the bathroom, I decided to take a look at their handiwork...and what did I see? They did move some stuff and cleared shelf room...for...
REMOTE CONTROL CARS.
God DAMN IT! So I decided that I'm going to just talk to my sister. I'm going to talk, and she's going to listen. I'm tired of the scared little girl bullshit. Even if they aren't used to taking the bull by the horns and have been babied their whole lives...it's time to grow up, and it's time to do it now.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
The things you find when you're cleaning house...
I'm gutting my room right now. I'm clearing out magazines from 1995. NINETEEN NINETY FIVE. Lord, like I need to go back in time to see what hideous thing I was wearing back then!
I was looking through some old journals that I wrote, and the most recent was last year. I am a different person. Although my essence is the same, my world view is so different.
I wish it wasn't my father's death that caused the revellations I have made, but I guess there hasn't been enough of a shock to my system until that point. I really thought that I was destined to live the life that I was, and this tragedy has made me realize that I need to take charge. There's so much that I will not put up with, so much that I know I'm not supposed to suffer...but I let things like that happen to me before because I just thought it was supposed to be that way.
Life is maliable, pliable and in constant flux. There is a destiny as far as where we will all end up eventually, but it's all like "The Butterly Effect"...small changes now will lead to an ending that would be much different if you didn't make those small changes.
That's why I just can't talk to my sister like nothing went wrong this weekend. I am standing my ground. I think she and her husband have been too complacent. My sister just thinks this is supposed to just blow over and if she left me alone for a few days I'd get over it. Her husband wronged me. It was rude and unacceptable. If she doesn't realize that and lose that pride and apologize, then I will let her know that although I won't ask for the apology, I won't let her "get away" with letting this issue just disappear. If it were me, and my husband did that...he would be facing a world of hurt for even entering a discussion with me and my sister without my permission.
My sister is becoming so weak. Instead of standing up for herself, she becomes this emotional wreck that is in constant need of salvation. As I said to my friend the other night: "My sister is trying to be a daughter, a sister and a wife all at the same time...and she is really bad at multi-tasking!" It's like she can't be strong in all of those areas because she's afraid of losing someone in the process.
I have faith that I won't lose my sister in all of this. That's why I'm standing my ground. I'm right, and I know that I deserve an apology. If she is too scared to do it, then I will tell her why they were wrong. Then I'm going to explain that the extent of my contact with her husband will be civil and that's it. I do not desire a close relationship with him at all, and I do not accept him as any man of my parent's household.
Cold? Yes. Harsh? Of course. But I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt before, even when he yelled at my mom...and he should be thankful I wasn't there to witness that because then he would have had the displeasure of my reaction. After the utter rudeness and shameful disrespect of who I am, my place in my household, and the fact that I'm older...I really don't care. My sister should just be happy that I'm going to be civil.
I'm gutting my room right now. I'm clearing out magazines from 1995. NINETEEN NINETY FIVE. Lord, like I need to go back in time to see what hideous thing I was wearing back then!
I was looking through some old journals that I wrote, and the most recent was last year. I am a different person. Although my essence is the same, my world view is so different.
I wish it wasn't my father's death that caused the revellations I have made, but I guess there hasn't been enough of a shock to my system until that point. I really thought that I was destined to live the life that I was, and this tragedy has made me realize that I need to take charge. There's so much that I will not put up with, so much that I know I'm not supposed to suffer...but I let things like that happen to me before because I just thought it was supposed to be that way.
Life is maliable, pliable and in constant flux. There is a destiny as far as where we will all end up eventually, but it's all like "The Butterly Effect"...small changes now will lead to an ending that would be much different if you didn't make those small changes.
That's why I just can't talk to my sister like nothing went wrong this weekend. I am standing my ground. I think she and her husband have been too complacent. My sister just thinks this is supposed to just blow over and if she left me alone for a few days I'd get over it. Her husband wronged me. It was rude and unacceptable. If she doesn't realize that and lose that pride and apologize, then I will let her know that although I won't ask for the apology, I won't let her "get away" with letting this issue just disappear. If it were me, and my husband did that...he would be facing a world of hurt for even entering a discussion with me and my sister without my permission.
My sister is becoming so weak. Instead of standing up for herself, she becomes this emotional wreck that is in constant need of salvation. As I said to my friend the other night: "My sister is trying to be a daughter, a sister and a wife all at the same time...and she is really bad at multi-tasking!" It's like she can't be strong in all of those areas because she's afraid of losing someone in the process.
I have faith that I won't lose my sister in all of this. That's why I'm standing my ground. I'm right, and I know that I deserve an apology. If she is too scared to do it, then I will tell her why they were wrong. Then I'm going to explain that the extent of my contact with her husband will be civil and that's it. I do not desire a close relationship with him at all, and I do not accept him as any man of my parent's household.
Cold? Yes. Harsh? Of course. But I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt before, even when he yelled at my mom...and he should be thankful I wasn't there to witness that because then he would have had the displeasure of my reaction. After the utter rudeness and shameful disrespect of who I am, my place in my household, and the fact that I'm older...I really don't care. My sister should just be happy that I'm going to be civil.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Ok, this has nothing to do with anything that I've been posting about...but just to put it out there into the void.
I don't understand myself sometimes. Sometimes things just roll off of me like water, you know? Sometimes I'm cool as a cucumber, ice cube, popsicle, whatever...I'm fine with whatever life throws at me, no big deal.
Then other times, it's like I'm frantic, always needing an answer and feeling like I'm not getting it.
I am being cryptic because I can be...but I guess I just needed to see it in writing so I can realize that I'm being paranoid and that I need to go shopping.
Shopping cures everything.
I don't understand myself sometimes. Sometimes things just roll off of me like water, you know? Sometimes I'm cool as a cucumber, ice cube, popsicle, whatever...I'm fine with whatever life throws at me, no big deal.
Then other times, it's like I'm frantic, always needing an answer and feeling like I'm not getting it.
I am being cryptic because I can be...but I guess I just needed to see it in writing so I can realize that I'm being paranoid and that I need to go shopping.
Shopping cures everything.
I had typed a whole thing out, and I realized that all that detail just didn't matter.
Here's the deal: I came home from discussing things with my uncle in Mira Mesa last night, because he spoke to my sister and her husband on Monday...and the talk went well for both parties seperately, which is good. But when I came home to unwind until UNLV came into town, what do I see? Go on, take a guess...
Yes...REMOTE CONTROL CAR RACING. My sister's husband and friends were taking a break from the whole RC racing and were sitting in the driveway. I pulled up, and I had to just back up and leave. I'm not good at pretending that everything's alright when I know I can't stand my brother in law and what he did. If he nonchalantly said "Hey" I would have told him to fuck off.
So UNLV calls me and tells me he's here and I drive to see him at his mom's place. My sister calls me and pages me to see if I'm alright and to find out where I am. I don't answer either call and my mom calls me. I explain that I can't pretend that everything is peachy keen and we can all go back to "how it was" when her idiot husband cussed me out. I just can't. I can't let her and her husband think that it's ok to talk to everyone else and not apolgize to me and think that it's all going to be ok.
And even still...if they were to apologize, I don't think I can be kind to her husband ever again. I have NEVER yelled at him, and for him to tell me to basically fuck off in my own parents house is equvilant to spitting on my dad's grave. It's disrespectful and rude. It's like he had no regard for myself or my family. He didn't acquire that house because he earned it...he did because he is married to my sister and my father DIED. If my father was alive...
*sigh*
But my father isn't. My sister has to understand that this is not going to be taken lightly. I am choosing to not associate myself with him. I'll have to live there, but I don't have to talk to him. I don't fear for my safety...not really. I just fear that if he crosses my path that I will just lose it and belittle him, and my sister will not forgive me for it. I don't want the rift to be between my sister and I, but she has to realize that this isn't a smile and hope it goes away type situation either.
I'm so glad UNLV came into town. I needed to feel like I have someone in my corner...not that no one else is, because I have people here in San Diego I can turn to also. But he's the one that knows how to make me feel better about it.
Here's the deal: I came home from discussing things with my uncle in Mira Mesa last night, because he spoke to my sister and her husband on Monday...and the talk went well for both parties seperately, which is good. But when I came home to unwind until UNLV came into town, what do I see? Go on, take a guess...
Yes...REMOTE CONTROL CAR RACING. My sister's husband and friends were taking a break from the whole RC racing and were sitting in the driveway. I pulled up, and I had to just back up and leave. I'm not good at pretending that everything's alright when I know I can't stand my brother in law and what he did. If he nonchalantly said "Hey" I would have told him to fuck off.
So UNLV calls me and tells me he's here and I drive to see him at his mom's place. My sister calls me and pages me to see if I'm alright and to find out where I am. I don't answer either call and my mom calls me. I explain that I can't pretend that everything is peachy keen and we can all go back to "how it was" when her idiot husband cussed me out. I just can't. I can't let her and her husband think that it's ok to talk to everyone else and not apolgize to me and think that it's all going to be ok.
And even still...if they were to apologize, I don't think I can be kind to her husband ever again. I have NEVER yelled at him, and for him to tell me to basically fuck off in my own parents house is equvilant to spitting on my dad's grave. It's disrespectful and rude. It's like he had no regard for myself or my family. He didn't acquire that house because he earned it...he did because he is married to my sister and my father DIED. If my father was alive...
*sigh*
But my father isn't. My sister has to understand that this is not going to be taken lightly. I am choosing to not associate myself with him. I'll have to live there, but I don't have to talk to him. I don't fear for my safety...not really. I just fear that if he crosses my path that I will just lose it and belittle him, and my sister will not forgive me for it. I don't want the rift to be between my sister and I, but she has to realize that this isn't a smile and hope it goes away type situation either.
I'm so glad UNLV came into town. I needed to feel like I have someone in my corner...not that no one else is, because I have people here in San Diego I can turn to also. But he's the one that knows how to make me feel better about it.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
You know how you forget that you're typing this on the internet and that people other than your friends are reading this? Yeah, up until just this morning when I checked my email, I forgot that...then I received a comment on one my posts yesterday.
In answer to the question, my mom is a kind, generous and tolerant person. She has decided to give my brother in law one more chance. He has one more outburst, and he has to go. My name isn't on the title of my parent's house, so I have decided to take the high road and let my mother and sister discuss that part of it and come to a decision...
But is that really the high road, or the the safer one?
In any case, I've decided to just forego that for the moment and talk about the cool little item I received in the mail yesterday...
JOHN MAYER MINI IPOD CASE
Yes dear friends, I have an iPod case, and NO IPOD! Hee hee...I can't decide on the grey or the pink iPod, so I'm glad I haven't actually purchased one yet. But as far as the case is concerned, I ended up with the pink case...which is ADORABLE. Yeah, I'm sure Mr. Mayer had that in mind when he approved the merch, "Yes, I need a CUTE iPod carrying case for my fans out there..."
Oh, on another note...please vote for JOHN HEFFRON on "Last Comic Standing".
That is all.
In answer to the question, my mom is a kind, generous and tolerant person. She has decided to give my brother in law one more chance. He has one more outburst, and he has to go. My name isn't on the title of my parent's house, so I have decided to take the high road and let my mother and sister discuss that part of it and come to a decision...
But is that really the high road, or the the safer one?
In any case, I've decided to just forego that for the moment and talk about the cool little item I received in the mail yesterday...
JOHN MAYER MINI IPOD CASE
Yes dear friends, I have an iPod case, and NO IPOD! Hee hee...I can't decide on the grey or the pink iPod, so I'm glad I haven't actually purchased one yet. But as far as the case is concerned, I ended up with the pink case...which is ADORABLE. Yeah, I'm sure Mr. Mayer had that in mind when he approved the merch, "Yes, I need a CUTE iPod carrying case for my fans out there..."
Oh, on another note...please vote for JOHN HEFFRON on "Last Comic Standing".
That is all.
Taurus
You finally get the chance to prove your abilities. When you talk, everyone believes you. Your opinions matter more than you know. You are quick to recognize that the most attractive option might hold a few pitfalls. Everyone wants to be near you right now, but it's up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff. Tonight, rely on your intuition in a difficult situation.
Like that?
So just when you all thought I was possibly embellishing a little about how I feel about my home life (and you have every right to...I'm sure you've all thought, "It can't be THAT bad, Sigh!"), here's confirmation:
Last night, I was talking to a friend in the Bay Area (right locale?), and her mom mentioned to her that a friend (MY neighbor) complained that she couldn't get into her drive way because my sister's husband and friends were...drum roll please...
PLAYING WITH REMOTE CONTROL CARS!
I called my mom this morning because even SHE thought I was exaggerating, but now she realizes that I'm not making things grand for the sake of effect or discrediting my sister. I bring up genuine concerns because I know that it affects everything around my home.
Sweet justification...
You finally get the chance to prove your abilities. When you talk, everyone believes you. Your opinions matter more than you know. You are quick to recognize that the most attractive option might hold a few pitfalls. Everyone wants to be near you right now, but it's up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff. Tonight, rely on your intuition in a difficult situation.
Like that?
So just when you all thought I was possibly embellishing a little about how I feel about my home life (and you have every right to...I'm sure you've all thought, "It can't be THAT bad, Sigh!"), here's confirmation:
Last night, I was talking to a friend in the Bay Area (right locale?), and her mom mentioned to her that a friend (MY neighbor) complained that she couldn't get into her drive way because my sister's husband and friends were...drum roll please...
PLAYING WITH REMOTE CONTROL CARS!
I called my mom this morning because even SHE thought I was exaggerating, but now she realizes that I'm not making things grand for the sake of effect or discrediting my sister. I bring up genuine concerns because I know that it affects everything around my home.
Sweet justification...
Monday, August 09, 2004
My condolences to Councilman Charles Lewis and family. My father and he knew each other because his mother lives on our street and they have become regulars at the annual block parties, and because my father supported his campaign. Councilman Lewis came to one of my father's viewings and even gave a memorium during one of the council meetings earlier this year.
I cried when I saw the news last night after one of our neighbors called us to let us know. He was only 37 years old and I believe that he died from complications due to anemia. God bless his family.
Also, a friend's mother passed away last night due to ovarian cancer. Condolences and blessings to his family, too.
I cried when I saw the news last night after one of our neighbors called us to let us know. He was only 37 years old and I believe that he died from complications due to anemia. God bless his family.
Also, a friend's mother passed away last night due to ovarian cancer. Condolences and blessings to his family, too.
I feel violated.
My personal space has been invaded. I feel like I can't be confortable in my own home now.
I feel the worst for my mother because she has to hear about this all the way in Canada. I hate calling her and telling her this stuff, but I have to. My sister's husband is not the guy she thought he was. I always knew in the back of my mind that there was something off about him. He has no respect for my parents house. The only work ethic he has is to go to his job everyday. He doesn't do dishes, he doesn't do housework, he doesn't cook, and he leaves SHIT EVERYWHERE. One time I came home to use the vaccuum, and his sweatpants were haning on the vaccuum. I pointed them out to my sister and said, "That is NOT a coat rack or the floor of your bedroom" and she took it to her room and said nothing to him about it.
My sister claims she is not scared of her husband. I don't think she's scared OF him, but she's scared of LOSING him.
THIS is why I'm single. Fuck that kind of intimidation by low self esteem. My sister has become the weakest part of herself, which is why she thinks that I'm talking down to her when I'm telling her what needs to be done at the house. But I guess if I tend to talk down to her, it's because they're both acting like children.
I wish I was exaggerating, and I know that they have to learn in their own time...but for God's sake they're in their 30's. Wouldn't they have learned how to take care of themselves along the way? How is it that my sister and I were raised by the same parents and I know how to take care of a household, but she doesn't? We both watched our mother, we both listened to our father...but it's like she lost herself in this relationship she's in, and can't function.
My mother asked her today if she was scared of her husband, she said no. She asked her why did her husband decide to unleash on me, and she said that he was trying to protect her. Immediately my mom rightfully asked, "Protect you from WHAT? US??!! We're your family, we've never hurt you and we never will...and besides, you're 31, you better learn how to protect yourself!"
My mom said that she told my sister to make him apologize to me. I will not accept it, but acknowledge it. I will NEVER SPEAK TO HIM because I don't want to acknowledge that he exists. If my father were alive, he would have come at Jeremy with a bat and chase him out of our home.
I have a feeling that all my sister is going to tell him is to apologize to me. I will NOT hug him, I will not shake his hand, and I will never let them forget what happened. My sister will have to live with the fact that I cannot stand her husband, and realize that she married an uncouth sloth of half of a man.
My personal space has been invaded. I feel like I can't be confortable in my own home now.
I feel the worst for my mother because she has to hear about this all the way in Canada. I hate calling her and telling her this stuff, but I have to. My sister's husband is not the guy she thought he was. I always knew in the back of my mind that there was something off about him. He has no respect for my parents house. The only work ethic he has is to go to his job everyday. He doesn't do dishes, he doesn't do housework, he doesn't cook, and he leaves SHIT EVERYWHERE. One time I came home to use the vaccuum, and his sweatpants were haning on the vaccuum. I pointed them out to my sister and said, "That is NOT a coat rack or the floor of your bedroom" and she took it to her room and said nothing to him about it.
My sister claims she is not scared of her husband. I don't think she's scared OF him, but she's scared of LOSING him.
THIS is why I'm single. Fuck that kind of intimidation by low self esteem. My sister has become the weakest part of herself, which is why she thinks that I'm talking down to her when I'm telling her what needs to be done at the house. But I guess if I tend to talk down to her, it's because they're both acting like children.
I wish I was exaggerating, and I know that they have to learn in their own time...but for God's sake they're in their 30's. Wouldn't they have learned how to take care of themselves along the way? How is it that my sister and I were raised by the same parents and I know how to take care of a household, but she doesn't? We both watched our mother, we both listened to our father...but it's like she lost herself in this relationship she's in, and can't function.
My mother asked her today if she was scared of her husband, she said no. She asked her why did her husband decide to unleash on me, and she said that he was trying to protect her. Immediately my mom rightfully asked, "Protect you from WHAT? US??!! We're your family, we've never hurt you and we never will...and besides, you're 31, you better learn how to protect yourself!"
My mom said that she told my sister to make him apologize to me. I will not accept it, but acknowledge it. I will NEVER SPEAK TO HIM because I don't want to acknowledge that he exists. If my father were alive, he would have come at Jeremy with a bat and chase him out of our home.
I have a feeling that all my sister is going to tell him is to apologize to me. I will NOT hug him, I will not shake his hand, and I will never let them forget what happened. My sister will have to live with the fact that I cannot stand her husband, and realize that she married an uncouth sloth of half of a man.
God help me.
My sister and I were having a little bit of an argument. It was really nothing special, and would have ended fairly quickly had my brother in law not butted in. He came STORMING into the room right at the end of our argument and had the nerve to say this to me:
"YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Then he said, "You need to stop treating my wife like she's your 5 year old daughter and just SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
In my shock, I asked him if he was really saying this in MY PARENTS HOUSE. That I couldn't believe he was telling me to shut the fuck up, and he said..."I just did!"
So I told him he wasn't my family, I never considered him family and that he needs to get out of my face.
My sister, in her hyper emotional state that she seems to have adopted as of late...decided it was a good thing to throw the table fan at my mother's curio cabinet and then fall to the ground muttering "What's happening to my family.." instead of calming her asshole of a husband down.
Then he says this next AGAIN:
"SEE??!! I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" even though I hadn't said anything at that point.
That is IT. I'm DONE WITH HIM. He does not exist in my eyes. He already yelled at my mom, telling saying to her "LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY WIFE!!" and now he disrespects me in my own parent's house? It's like he wasn't raised Filipino. It's like he never was taught that his behavior is out of line.
I don't hate people. So you know what? I am INDIFFERENT TO HIM. I had a discussion with a friend about a month ago about indifference and hate. Hate is the opposite of love and an emotion. I feel absolutely no emotions towards that man. I am completely indifferent to him. He could exist or not exist and it wouldn't matter to me or my world.
The thing that gets me the most is that he WOULD NEVER DO THAT IF MY FATHER WERE ALIVE.
I want my *cringe* brother in law OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE.
My sister and I were having a little bit of an argument. It was really nothing special, and would have ended fairly quickly had my brother in law not butted in. He came STORMING into the room right at the end of our argument and had the nerve to say this to me:
"YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Then he said, "You need to stop treating my wife like she's your 5 year old daughter and just SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
In my shock, I asked him if he was really saying this in MY PARENTS HOUSE. That I couldn't believe he was telling me to shut the fuck up, and he said..."I just did!"
So I told him he wasn't my family, I never considered him family and that he needs to get out of my face.
My sister, in her hyper emotional state that she seems to have adopted as of late...decided it was a good thing to throw the table fan at my mother's curio cabinet and then fall to the ground muttering "What's happening to my family.." instead of calming her asshole of a husband down.
Then he says this next AGAIN:
"SEE??!! I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" even though I hadn't said anything at that point.
That is IT. I'm DONE WITH HIM. He does not exist in my eyes. He already yelled at my mom, telling saying to her "LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY WIFE!!" and now he disrespects me in my own parent's house? It's like he wasn't raised Filipino. It's like he never was taught that his behavior is out of line.
I don't hate people. So you know what? I am INDIFFERENT TO HIM. I had a discussion with a friend about a month ago about indifference and hate. Hate is the opposite of love and an emotion. I feel absolutely no emotions towards that man. I am completely indifferent to him. He could exist or not exist and it wouldn't matter to me or my world.
The thing that gets me the most is that he WOULD NEVER DO THAT IF MY FATHER WERE ALIVE.
I want my *cringe* brother in law OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Taurus
If things do not work today, stop and just listen. Pay attention to the swirling momentum and the roar of your thoughts whizzing by. The reasons for your difficulty will become obvious if you shut off your internal monologue for a moment. The insight that you need could come from somewhere strange and random. The universe is sending you a message if you are ready to receive the transmission. It could come in any form of communication.
I really liked my horoscope today. It's very ethereal and other worldly.
If things do not work today, stop and just listen. Pay attention to the swirling momentum and the roar of your thoughts whizzing by. The reasons for your difficulty will become obvious if you shut off your internal monologue for a moment. The insight that you need could come from somewhere strange and random. The universe is sending you a message if you are ready to receive the transmission. It could come in any form of communication.
I really liked my horoscope today. It's very ethereal and other worldly.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Ahhhh...dontcha love it when you hear extremely good music?
I just saw Jamie Cullum last night at Cane's, and he was INCREDIBLE.
I love it when I see a show where I don't know what to expect, and leave knowing it was worth every penny. Jamie Cullum was that kind of show. I almost bought the album last week, and didn't for some reason. A gal from the MSM message boards (My Stupid Mouth) emailed me and asked me if I wanted to see him, and I said hell yeah. I was soooo very glad I did.
Imagine a tiiiiiiiny, energetic, British Harry Connick Jr. He's a little wee boy and packed full of energy and raw talent (talk about good things coming in small packages). This guy is destined for stardom (which he actually is already worldwide). The audience in attendance was very diverse...probably because he took some old standards and shook them up to fit his very own style of youth infused jazz. It was almost of rock epic proportions the way this kid jumped off of the grand piano and banged his head to his own rendition of Jimi Hendrix's "The Wind Cries Mary". The slowed things down, then reved things up again...even asking for audience participation, giving us singing and clapping parts. He was constantly all over the stage and played this his fingers bled.
AMAZING.
Like John Mayer's "Room For Squares", I bought Jamie's "Twentysomething" album for $8.99. But unlike John Mayer, I didn't miss him at Cane's before this kid hit the big time. I regretted that I missed John Mayer play with Norah Jones at Cane's back in April 2002...Jamie Cullum will see the same success of Mr. Mayer...and maybe they can jam TOGETHER.
If that were to happen, I think I'll need a cigarette and a good long nap after THAT concert.
I just saw Jamie Cullum last night at Cane's, and he was INCREDIBLE.
I love it when I see a show where I don't know what to expect, and leave knowing it was worth every penny. Jamie Cullum was that kind of show. I almost bought the album last week, and didn't for some reason. A gal from the MSM message boards (My Stupid Mouth) emailed me and asked me if I wanted to see him, and I said hell yeah. I was soooo very glad I did.
Imagine a tiiiiiiiny, energetic, British Harry Connick Jr. He's a little wee boy and packed full of energy and raw talent (talk about good things coming in small packages). This guy is destined for stardom (which he actually is already worldwide). The audience in attendance was very diverse...probably because he took some old standards and shook them up to fit his very own style of youth infused jazz. It was almost of rock epic proportions the way this kid jumped off of the grand piano and banged his head to his own rendition of Jimi Hendrix's "The Wind Cries Mary". The slowed things down, then reved things up again...even asking for audience participation, giving us singing and clapping parts. He was constantly all over the stage and played this his fingers bled.
AMAZING.
Like John Mayer's "Room For Squares", I bought Jamie's "Twentysomething" album for $8.99. But unlike John Mayer, I didn't miss him at Cane's before this kid hit the big time. I regretted that I missed John Mayer play with Norah Jones at Cane's back in April 2002...Jamie Cullum will see the same success of Mr. Mayer...and maybe they can jam TOGETHER.
If that were to happen, I think I'll need a cigarette and a good long nap after THAT concert.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Back from Vegas! Overall, the trip was EXCELLENT! I say overall, because no trip is PERFECT, but there were parts that were. I will include in a seperate post the "imperfect" part of the trip.
JULY 30, 2004
Friday
My UNLV best friend picked me up at the airport in the Crossfire, and all I could think was "HOLY SHIT!!" That is a CUTE car up close and personal. Speaking of which...that car definitely has a lot of personality. It's not too pricey, but it gets a LOT of looks. We had a great time taking that car to get it valet'ed (how in the HELL do you spell it as a verb past tense anyway??).
The Venitian was BEAUTIFUL. The room was pretty big and had a little living room, bedroom area and nice sized bathroom area, with shower and bath. We only went swimming once at the Canyon Spa pool and jacuzzi with my best friend's own UNLV buddy, soon to be frat brother. We took some cool pictures, and I hope to have some of that soon.
The first night, we got to the room and got all spiffied up. We called a place that UNLV's realtor HIGHLY recommended. It's called Rosemary's and it's WAAAAAAY off the strip. In fact, it's not far from UNLV's old house. It's very unassuming, but quite classy inside. We had to make late reservations of 10:00 pm, but they closed at 10:30 pm so I guess we were safe.
We were told that this place will treat you like a rock star...and they weren't kidding. We spent about $150+ but it was WELL worth it. We had a Chef Taster's menu, which included a 5 course meal for each person, and beer or wine for an extra charge if so desired. We just wanted the meal and bought our own cocktails seperately. The waiter, Ian, was very knowledgable about the menu, and he explained every part of the 5 course meal. In fact, after about 10:10pm, we were the only one's in the whole restaurant, so we basically had 10 waiters at our disposal until we left at 11pm. That was BY FAR the BEST dinner experience I've EVER had. The service was incredible, the food was spectacular, and the company was very much welcomed after such a hard month (UNLV was very sweet, and I'm so glad he's my best friend).
After the awesome dinner, we met up with my friends and his bachelor party buddies and partied a little at Rain at The Palms (I was the only girl there for that night, which was awkward). I was extremely tired after working all day, then flying out and going straight through from basically starting my day at 430 am to get up for work, so we decided to head back by about 130am.
JULY 31, 2004
Saturday
The next day, we went to the Rent-A-Vette dealer and added my name to the Crossfire so that I could also drive it...which was only twice. I'm not as skilled a driver as UNLV is, so he drove most of the weekend. Only UNLV was allowed to drive it up until that day because I had to show my ID, they had to verify my credit card, and take a thumbprint in order for me to drive it, too. UNLV was right...it's like they wanted my first born or something! Then we went shopping at a local mall on Maryland Pkwy near the actual UNLV campus (I forget what it's called, we've been there before). We bought a few things, but every time we wanted to buy something, people kept telling us to go to The Fashion Show on the strip...so that was our clue to go there. We bought very nice things: Lacoste shirts, I got my Seven for all Mankind jeans (on SALE!), but I didn't get my "The Cult" Trunk Ltd shirt because they ran out. They're supposed to call me because they intend on getting more in.
So as a prelude to the evening, UNLV mentions that after he bought a couple more shirts in Nordstrom's The Rail, the salesman said to him "BP is upstairs". UNLV was confused. So the salesman said, "Your mom said she was going up there..." Now, my buddy wasn't going to tell me this because he felt bad that this guy said it, but he told me anyway, hoping I would find it more funny than offensive. He kept saying "That guy was was a stupid idiot anyway...I think he only said that because you bought the shirt for me when we first got there..." That didn't make me feel any better.
We went back and got ready for dinner and going out for the co-ed bachelor party. At first, I kept getting phone calls asking suggestions about where we were going that night, but I thought that the bachelor and his buddies were pretty set about where we were going. In any case, UNLV and his friend suggested The Beach and everyone met up there after our respective dinners.
At dinner (at Margaritaville...which was very cool), UNLV told me about his family reunion in Florida, and that his aunt had a falling out with her husband and then went out and partied with him and his cousins (apparently she is in her 50's and they are all 20 somethings). I tell that story for a reason, which is to follow in the next post.
We had to go back to UNLV's condo to register for his reserved parking permit which was supposed to go in affect on midnight Aug 1 so that he can get one because they were limited in number. The system was not updated, so we figured that it would be updated at midnight on Aug 1, since Aug 2 is a business day. We leave the condo and get to The Beach and start off with rounds of drinks. It's a wild and crazy place. It's like Cane's in San Diego and Chiller's/Lattitude's in Redondo Beach combined. Lots of young people and craziness, almost like a Spring Break type vibe.
Now, in a seperate post, you'll that The Beach was the downside to an otherwise great trip (even if UNLV says that to me, I know he'll say it was cool when I'm not around, haha!).
AUGUST 1, 2004
Sunday
UNLV and I took the car back , checked out of The Venetian and were going to Primm outlets, but we forgot that there was extra traffic for those people going home. We decieded to just to to the Las Vegas Outlets and shop and eat there. It was a pretty mellow day.
That night, UNLV and his friend and I went to The Circle Bar at Harrah's. Now THAT was fun. UNLV lossened me up with a couple of drinks, and we had a fun time in the rain listening to a live band playing covers. We ate, drank and danced. I didn't want to do anything too extravagant because I didn't want to hang out with people I didn't know who were younger than me. It was too soon after the previous night's events.
AUGUST 2, 2004
Monday
Things got a little hectic. I had no idea of UNLV's responsibilities with his mom's properties out there until I got to witness it first hand. I kinda just tagged along with him while he took care of everything for his mom. He had accomplished a lot, from meeting with the realtor and taking pictures for it to be rented and buying stuff for the next house being rennovated, to continuing to clean up his own condo and waiting for furniture that never came. I helped organize his stuff, helping him throw away a lot of things and making his condo a little homier, but more classic looking.
The plane was delayed from 9:55 pm to 11:05 pm. It sucked because I didn't think to check online to see if maybe there was a delay. UNLV and I could have gone to dinner instead of me eating crappy airport food, lol.
Minus the crap at The Beach, I had a very good weekend. It was nice to be away and relax.
JULY 30, 2004
Friday
My UNLV best friend picked me up at the airport in the Crossfire, and all I could think was "HOLY SHIT!!" That is a CUTE car up close and personal. Speaking of which...that car definitely has a lot of personality. It's not too pricey, but it gets a LOT of looks. We had a great time taking that car to get it valet'ed (how in the HELL do you spell it as a verb past tense anyway??).
The Venitian was BEAUTIFUL. The room was pretty big and had a little living room, bedroom area and nice sized bathroom area, with shower and bath. We only went swimming once at the Canyon Spa pool and jacuzzi with my best friend's own UNLV buddy, soon to be frat brother. We took some cool pictures, and I hope to have some of that soon.
The first night, we got to the room and got all spiffied up. We called a place that UNLV's realtor HIGHLY recommended. It's called Rosemary's and it's WAAAAAAY off the strip. In fact, it's not far from UNLV's old house. It's very unassuming, but quite classy inside. We had to make late reservations of 10:00 pm, but they closed at 10:30 pm so I guess we were safe.
We were told that this place will treat you like a rock star...and they weren't kidding. We spent about $150+ but it was WELL worth it. We had a Chef Taster's menu, which included a 5 course meal for each person, and beer or wine for an extra charge if so desired. We just wanted the meal and bought our own cocktails seperately. The waiter, Ian, was very knowledgable about the menu, and he explained every part of the 5 course meal. In fact, after about 10:10pm, we were the only one's in the whole restaurant, so we basically had 10 waiters at our disposal until we left at 11pm. That was BY FAR the BEST dinner experience I've EVER had. The service was incredible, the food was spectacular, and the company was very much welcomed after such a hard month (UNLV was very sweet, and I'm so glad he's my best friend).
After the awesome dinner, we met up with my friends and his bachelor party buddies and partied a little at Rain at The Palms (I was the only girl there for that night, which was awkward). I was extremely tired after working all day, then flying out and going straight through from basically starting my day at 430 am to get up for work, so we decided to head back by about 130am.
JULY 31, 2004
Saturday
The next day, we went to the Rent-A-Vette dealer and added my name to the Crossfire so that I could also drive it...which was only twice. I'm not as skilled a driver as UNLV is, so he drove most of the weekend. Only UNLV was allowed to drive it up until that day because I had to show my ID, they had to verify my credit card, and take a thumbprint in order for me to drive it, too. UNLV was right...it's like they wanted my first born or something! Then we went shopping at a local mall on Maryland Pkwy near the actual UNLV campus (I forget what it's called, we've been there before). We bought a few things, but every time we wanted to buy something, people kept telling us to go to The Fashion Show on the strip...so that was our clue to go there. We bought very nice things: Lacoste shirts, I got my Seven for all Mankind jeans (on SALE!), but I didn't get my "The Cult" Trunk Ltd shirt because they ran out. They're supposed to call me because they intend on getting more in.
So as a prelude to the evening, UNLV mentions that after he bought a couple more shirts in Nordstrom's The Rail, the salesman said to him "BP is upstairs". UNLV was confused. So the salesman said, "Your mom said she was going up there..." Now, my buddy wasn't going to tell me this because he felt bad that this guy said it, but he told me anyway, hoping I would find it more funny than offensive. He kept saying "That guy was was a stupid idiot anyway...I think he only said that because you bought the shirt for me when we first got there..." That didn't make me feel any better.
We went back and got ready for dinner and going out for the co-ed bachelor party. At first, I kept getting phone calls asking suggestions about where we were going that night, but I thought that the bachelor and his buddies were pretty set about where we were going. In any case, UNLV and his friend suggested The Beach and everyone met up there after our respective dinners.
At dinner (at Margaritaville...which was very cool), UNLV told me about his family reunion in Florida, and that his aunt had a falling out with her husband and then went out and partied with him and his cousins (apparently she is in her 50's and they are all 20 somethings). I tell that story for a reason, which is to follow in the next post.
We had to go back to UNLV's condo to register for his reserved parking permit which was supposed to go in affect on midnight Aug 1 so that he can get one because they were limited in number. The system was not updated, so we figured that it would be updated at midnight on Aug 1, since Aug 2 is a business day. We leave the condo and get to The Beach and start off with rounds of drinks. It's a wild and crazy place. It's like Cane's in San Diego and Chiller's/Lattitude's in Redondo Beach combined. Lots of young people and craziness, almost like a Spring Break type vibe.
Now, in a seperate post, you'll that The Beach was the downside to an otherwise great trip (even if UNLV says that to me, I know he'll say it was cool when I'm not around, haha!).
AUGUST 1, 2004
Sunday
UNLV and I took the car back , checked out of The Venetian and were going to Primm outlets, but we forgot that there was extra traffic for those people going home. We decieded to just to to the Las Vegas Outlets and shop and eat there. It was a pretty mellow day.
That night, UNLV and his friend and I went to The Circle Bar at Harrah's. Now THAT was fun. UNLV lossened me up with a couple of drinks, and we had a fun time in the rain listening to a live band playing covers. We ate, drank and danced. I didn't want to do anything too extravagant because I didn't want to hang out with people I didn't know who were younger than me. It was too soon after the previous night's events.
AUGUST 2, 2004
Monday
Things got a little hectic. I had no idea of UNLV's responsibilities with his mom's properties out there until I got to witness it first hand. I kinda just tagged along with him while he took care of everything for his mom. He had accomplished a lot, from meeting with the realtor and taking pictures for it to be rented and buying stuff for the next house being rennovated, to continuing to clean up his own condo and waiting for furniture that never came. I helped organize his stuff, helping him throw away a lot of things and making his condo a little homier, but more classic looking.
The plane was delayed from 9:55 pm to 11:05 pm. It sucked because I didn't think to check online to see if maybe there was a delay. UNLV and I could have gone to dinner instead of me eating crappy airport food, lol.
Minus the crap at The Beach, I had a very good weekend. It was nice to be away and relax.
THE BEACH July 31, 2004
As stated in the previous post, The Beach is a Canes/Chiller's looking place with a definite Spring Break type vibe. In talking to some people here at my office, they mention that they've been to The Beach and how it's kind of a skanky "I'm 21 so I can do anything" kinda feel to it, which was completely accurate. That was crazy Vegas locality and I didn't care for it AT ALL.
I'm told that I wouldn't be the only girl that night, so I thought that would make me feel better about the evening. There are 2 other girls, and they get there not long after we did. After awhile, there are body shots being given by some girl named Nicole or something who worked there, and some of the guys who were "in LUVE" with her coveted her by doing those body shots (after I called them out and dared them to get their asses up there). UNLV was the photographer because no one bothered to bring a camera to document the event.
Later, they coax the girls in our group to do the same body shots with that girl Nicole. My friends coax me to go with them, and the girls say to me "We'll all go up there together...we won't do it without you..." type of thing, so I look at UNLV and buddy and they kind of give me a "yeah, you should do it" and I get pulled by the girls to go up there. So I get to the bar, the girls both get helped up. I'm about to get up on the bar when The Bachelor pulls me back and says that they didn't pay for me to be up there. I was in mid jump when he said that, so now my drunk ass self has to take the "walk of shame" and go back into the crowd. UNLV is again taking pictures and asks me to take pictures with them after he sees that I had to come back, and I decline. He's having fun, and it IS a bachelor party, so I decided to just leave him alone to enjoy a night with the guys. Besides, why would I want to be in pictures after being asked to get off the bar?
I went back to the railing and started to watch a little. Then I got extremely pissed and went back to our seats away from that bar area. Then I felt REALLY stupid, very old, and very self concious and decided to go to the bathroom to console myself. After crying a little in the bathroom, I decided to just walk around and be by myself...but without leaving the bar because I didn't want UNLV to worry about me (he did mention later that he was afraid I left, but realized that I wouldn't do that to him). I just sat in the back area and watched the people play pool. I didn't realize that an hour had gone by, nor did I realize that my phone had been ringing. I really didn't realize it had been that long. I saw that my phone had about 8 missed calls, so I decided that I had to go back. I went back to our original seats and I felt someone grab my arm and direct me outside. I could hear him say on the phone "I got her, we're coming outside now..."
Next was a flurry of activity of EVERYONE trying to console me by telling me that I'm not too old, that they didn't realize that I was going up there, too...that they didn't get enough money together to pay for a 3rd person to get body shots, that I'm attractive and people who just met me didn't know I was in my 30's...BLAH BLAH BLAH. I honestly believe, and I don't give a FLYING FUCK WHO READS THIS, that those who were bragging all weekend about how much money they make, flashing fake LV wallets, could have afforded to give up a $20 or whatever it took so that I wouldn't have been embarassed and felt like SHIT for being taken off the bar. How hard would that have been to just give our dear almost naked bartender Miss Nicole a little something extra after the shot was done and say, "Sorry, we should have included her" instead of taking me off the bar and making me walk back into the crowd, feeling like a FUCKING IDIOT for even being there? I would have forked the money over if it was the other way around, but hey...that's ME. I don't brag about what I make and the money I ACTUALLY have.
That's going to be the last time I attend anything like that...and my clubbing will be limited, very few and extremely far between. Invite me, I guess...but only I'll go if I want to, which might be never. Besides, I wanted UNLV to know it WASN'T him that I was pissed at...and I know he knows that now because he said that if that was how I felt, I should have told him and he would have understood and left if I was that upset. I explained that he was having too much fun as the photo boy that I didn't want to bother him. I was drunk and angry, so I decided to just be by myself. He felt bad for me and understood where I was coming from.
This moment in time became a life changing moment for me. I realized that I am just too old to go to things like that. Maybe it was the co-ed bachelor thing, but whatever it was...it made me realize that 34 is not an age to be hopping on bars and getting whip cream licked off of my by an average looking Asian bartender/dancer with a great body and fake boobs making up for her plainess. In a way, I'm glad that I didn't go up there, because one of the girls who did it said later "I kinda wish I didn't go up there, but they paid for it..."
Also, I wondered to myself, "Who am I fooling by doing shit like this?" I thought about UNLV's aunt at their family reunion, and I wondered, "Who thinks that about ME?" I wondered if people think I'm too old to be around that crowd and I kept thinking that maybe I act too young...that I dress too young, that I try to party like I'm 21 again because I'm single with no kids. I don't want to seem like I'm fooling myself...because up until that point, I really thought I wasn't.
So overall, if you take out this part of my weekend, I would have been able to say I had the perfect weekend in Vegas. I don't like drama, I definitely don't like being told I'm dramatic...so I think avoiding situations like that will help keep my life's melodramatic moments to a minimum.
Goodbye clubbing world...it was fun while it lasted.
