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Thursday, August 25, 2005

My room looks so lovely. I love being in my room. I used to HATE my room because I had so much shit in it and I just never went through anything and it just kept piling up. And while I was a little put off that my mom and our construction guy moved all my stuff without me, I am glad that I'm getting to move everything because I am definitely purging a lot of stuff.

You don't realize the crap you keep over the years. Not just material, but mental and emotional.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Today's horoscope:

Taurus

Something or someone is telling you to go, go, go, but your innately stubborn nature comes to the rescue and balks at being told to hurry. You'll go at your own pace, and you'll get there in your own sweet time. You're absolutely right about that, so stick to your guns, no matter how frantic someone else seems. Just because they're in a panic is no reason to get in one, too. You'll soon see the wisdom of your choice, and so will they.

Friday, August 19, 2005

I took last week off to de-stress. It was a mix of chaos and control. Chaos due to my financial situation, control because I decided to work on my room to "relax".

Thank you to all who checked on me in the past week. I love you all and your calls and emails were very appreciated. I hope that you will share my experience with people you know and make sure you or your friends and family don't fall victim to email fraud like I did. It turned my world upside down.

My bedroom looks like a dressing room in a French boutique...but will look more like a "boudoir" when I get my bed in there. I spent the week just running errands with my mom, shopping for things for the house, and working on my room. I really worked on sorting through clothes and packing my closet last Thurs and Friday. Then I painted the little pine and plastic Ikea wardrobe to look more like an old wooden one. I had never done "decoupage" before, so I painted it and placed little decorative elements on it and it turned out really nice. It fits better into my room.

I bought a sewing machine (well, mom bought it with a check, I had no money at the time), and sewed up all the new upolstery remants into chic drapes for my closet. I also attempted my first pillow, which looks so cool. It's not difficult at all, and looks so custom because it matches my room. I need to make 3 more.

So I received my tax money. I haven't decided what I want to spend it on yet (I actually did get a nice jacket at Nordies, and cute shoes), so I'm going to look around for a new dresser, since I'm going to fix up the headboard to my bed. I'm going to give one of my dressers away, and "distress" the other 2.

UNLV went to Missouri to visit his dad. I know that he's been very worried about him, and I know he's having a good time. He comes back on Sunday. We're trying to plan to see each other, but it's actually totally hard this time around. I've got all these committments happening every weekend, and he's been so busy with school and all his projects. We WILL make something work...damnit!

I'm addicted to "Rockstar INXS" and "Big Brother" (mostly because they are one right after the other). JD Fortune ALL THE WAY. Dave Navarro has a blog, too. It's cool. 6767.com

Oh, sorry...the reason I include Dava Navarro in that sentence is because he is one of the hosts of "Rockstar INXS".

Alright. Work is about to end, and I don't have anything else to say. See you all Monday.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

YOU ARE NOT SAFE.

Do not be complacent any longer. No one is safe from anything.

I had the biggest wake up call yesterday morning.

My entire checking and savings account were wiped out because I responded to a fraudulent Paypal email.

I spent 3 hours yesterday fixing what took 2 minutes of my time to respond to.

I wasn't careful enough. I wasn't diligent enough in my efforts to detect a fraudulent email. I thought I was more savvy than that, and it turns out that I'm not.

I have been violated, I have been taken advantage of, and I feel defeated.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I started a blog entry that I have now deleted at least twice...maybe even trice. I get passionate about it one minute, then I abandon those thoughts the next because I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.

I think I've got it straight in my head now...and what I want to say is that sometimes I just get fed up. I get fed up with having to tippy toe around some issues, or try and understand others. I get fed up with people who try to destroy themselves and their lives, and then I get fed up with people who are too full of pride to see that they need to be knocked off their high horses.

I'm tired of explaining myself, and I'm tired of not getting enough of an explanation.

I hate wondering what's going on, then getting chastised for when I chose to clam up.

I'm getting tired. I'm getting fed up. I'm about to not give a shit about anyone but myself if things don't fucking lighten up.

Believe it or not, I am happy about a lot of things. But there are just certain parts of my life that I just want to say...to more than one person:

"Look...either you do, you don't. If you don't, then don't string me along...if you do, then fucking do something about it. Otherwise, be a better friend...or at least as good a friend as you were last year."

"Either you will stop destroying yourself or you will die, and you can't make me feel guilty for chosing to not watch you die after you promised that you'd stop. If you think you aren't going to kill yourself or destroy your life, you are really diluting your problem."

"Get him to tell me he's sorry. There is another life that is coming into this world...one that is related to the both of us, and I can't BELIEVE you have let this drag on for a year. Do something about this, and do it SOON."

"I NEED SPACE AND A VACATION!!"

"Daddy...I miss you so much..."

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