Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I had typed a whole thing out, and I realized that all that detail just didn't matter.
Here's the deal: I came home from discussing things with my uncle in Mira Mesa last night, because he spoke to my sister and her husband on Monday...and the talk went well for both parties seperately, which is good. But when I came home to unwind until UNLV came into town, what do I see? Go on, take a guess...
Yes...REMOTE CONTROL CAR RACING. My sister's husband and friends were taking a break from the whole RC racing and were sitting in the driveway. I pulled up, and I had to just back up and leave. I'm not good at pretending that everything's alright when I know I can't stand my brother in law and what he did. If he nonchalantly said "Hey" I would have told him to fuck off.
So UNLV calls me and tells me he's here and I drive to see him at his mom's place. My sister calls me and pages me to see if I'm alright and to find out where I am. I don't answer either call and my mom calls me. I explain that I can't pretend that everything is peachy keen and we can all go back to "how it was" when her idiot husband cussed me out. I just can't. I can't let her and her husband think that it's ok to talk to everyone else and not apolgize to me and think that it's all going to be ok.
And even still...if they were to apologize, I don't think I can be kind to her husband ever again. I have NEVER yelled at him, and for him to tell me to basically fuck off in my own parents house is equvilant to spitting on my dad's grave. It's disrespectful and rude. It's like he had no regard for myself or my family. He didn't acquire that house because he earned it...he did because he is married to my sister and my father DIED. If my father was alive...
*sigh*
But my father isn't. My sister has to understand that this is not going to be taken lightly. I am choosing to not associate myself with him. I'll have to live there, but I don't have to talk to him. I don't fear for my safety...not really. I just fear that if he crosses my path that I will just lose it and belittle him, and my sister will not forgive me for it. I don't want the rift to be between my sister and I, but she has to realize that this isn't a smile and hope it goes away type situation either.
I'm so glad UNLV came into town. I needed to feel like I have someone in my corner...not that no one else is, because I have people here in San Diego I can turn to also. But he's the one that knows how to make me feel better about it.
Here's the deal: I came home from discussing things with my uncle in Mira Mesa last night, because he spoke to my sister and her husband on Monday...and the talk went well for both parties seperately, which is good. But when I came home to unwind until UNLV came into town, what do I see? Go on, take a guess...
Yes...REMOTE CONTROL CAR RACING. My sister's husband and friends were taking a break from the whole RC racing and were sitting in the driveway. I pulled up, and I had to just back up and leave. I'm not good at pretending that everything's alright when I know I can't stand my brother in law and what he did. If he nonchalantly said "Hey" I would have told him to fuck off.
So UNLV calls me and tells me he's here and I drive to see him at his mom's place. My sister calls me and pages me to see if I'm alright and to find out where I am. I don't answer either call and my mom calls me. I explain that I can't pretend that everything is peachy keen and we can all go back to "how it was" when her idiot husband cussed me out. I just can't. I can't let her and her husband think that it's ok to talk to everyone else and not apolgize to me and think that it's all going to be ok.
And even still...if they were to apologize, I don't think I can be kind to her husband ever again. I have NEVER yelled at him, and for him to tell me to basically fuck off in my own parents house is equvilant to spitting on my dad's grave. It's disrespectful and rude. It's like he had no regard for myself or my family. He didn't acquire that house because he earned it...he did because he is married to my sister and my father DIED. If my father was alive...
*sigh*
But my father isn't. My sister has to understand that this is not going to be taken lightly. I am choosing to not associate myself with him. I'll have to live there, but I don't have to talk to him. I don't fear for my safety...not really. I just fear that if he crosses my path that I will just lose it and belittle him, and my sister will not forgive me for it. I don't want the rift to be between my sister and I, but she has to realize that this isn't a smile and hope it goes away type situation either.
I'm so glad UNLV came into town. I needed to feel like I have someone in my corner...not that no one else is, because I have people here in San Diego I can turn to also. But he's the one that knows how to make me feel better about it.
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