Friday, November 11, 2005
I'm a little stressed about my sister's baby shower...for more reasons than I care to divulge here.
I'm tired of all of these "milestones". I would like to have a normal few months, uneventful...just life happening. I don't want to experience anymore life altering changes or "ah HA!" moments. No more spritual catharsis type revellations, none of that. I have had more than my share, and I think I've learned enough life lessons to satisfy even Confucious.
All of the "could have beens" and "should have beens" are now more "you never had a snowball's chance in hell", and although I could never have predicted the outcome, the way this ended just HAD to be this way.
I wish I could just stop these moments where I have to pause and just breathe deeply to make sure that I can handle the next. Or close my eyes to make moments go away...just for a second or two.
I feel like I'm watching my life on TV...where all the characters are still the same, but God as the writer has introduced a plot twist to see how the protagonist will handle the next couple of episodes. It's like, ok...I recognize everyone...but someone changed the direction of one of the main characters...just to mess with the viewing audience.
Have you ever looked at someone, and know that they are the same exact person as they were not too long ago...but now seem so incredibly unfamiliar to you? That person says the same things, but everything has changed meaning.
I need to win the Lotto. Then I would buy my own personal INXS concert and make JD sing "Need You Tonight" just to me.
I'm tired of all of these "milestones". I would like to have a normal few months, uneventful...just life happening. I don't want to experience anymore life altering changes or "ah HA!" moments. No more spritual catharsis type revellations, none of that. I have had more than my share, and I think I've learned enough life lessons to satisfy even Confucious.
All of the "could have beens" and "should have beens" are now more "you never had a snowball's chance in hell", and although I could never have predicted the outcome, the way this ended just HAD to be this way.
I wish I could just stop these moments where I have to pause and just breathe deeply to make sure that I can handle the next. Or close my eyes to make moments go away...just for a second or two.
I feel like I'm watching my life on TV...where all the characters are still the same, but God as the writer has introduced a plot twist to see how the protagonist will handle the next couple of episodes. It's like, ok...I recognize everyone...but someone changed the direction of one of the main characters...just to mess with the viewing audience.
Have you ever looked at someone, and know that they are the same exact person as they were not too long ago...but now seem so incredibly unfamiliar to you? That person says the same things, but everything has changed meaning.
I need to win the Lotto. Then I would buy my own personal INXS concert and make JD sing "Need You Tonight" just to me.
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