Thursday, November 17, 2005
I wish I were more clever and more of a wordsmith.
Sometimes I think I have the gift of gab, but then I read something and am immediately humbled.
Read on:
(From John Mayer's blog on My Space)
Dear Cherry Tomatoes,
We're cool now. I know we didn't get on real well in the past, and I think the blame has fallen somewhere between us both. You're distinct!! You really come on strong there at the beginning with that first bite. You're like, "bang! tomato!" and some people get a little taken aback by that. I know I was. I also think I was a bit misled by the name "cherry tomato". That's a tall order, referencing a delicious fruit in your name like that. I don't know if any vegetable could compare themselves to cherries and get away with it.
I've had a hard time stabbing you with my fork. Sometimes I'd have to push down six or seven times before I got hold of you, what with your being covered in slick salad dressing, and round. Sometimes I just don't feel like playing. And maybe that's my fault.
Lately, though, I've been warming up to you. I've gotten older, my tastes more refined as a result. You've been respecting yourself, showing up in perfect symmetry ensconced in the corners of my grilled chicken salad. You carry yourself differently now. I'll admit it, I think that's kind of attractive. Makes people want to be around you.
I'm not saying we should just get together, but I think it would be cool to have you on more meals and maybe see where this goes. I don't want to forget about the past, but I also don't want to harp on it. It is what it is. Let's take things slow.
Love,
John
P.S. Dear olives,
I still f**king hate you.
(From a poster named Sweet Elle on mystupidmouth.com)
1. I miss you too. And when I say I miss you, I mean I crave you. I check the NJMC (Non-John Mayer Content) every couple of days, but don't reply to threads because I am on a fast track to meth addiction and I can't devote my time to making a fool of myself in verdana when there's Sudafed to be cooked down. Also, My computer went to Mexico and never came back, so I've been busy putting ribbons up and making flyers. She answers to "Motherfucker." The computer I'm using now isn't mine, is owned and used most of the time by someone else (But I'm taking them to court) and this means that the whole John Mayer Message Board Browser History conversation is one I try to avoid, sometimes. Not because I'm ashamed of you. But because I wish you'd buy a different dress before dinner at Bennigans.
If I were that clever, I certainly would get paid for writing blogs such as these. Alas, I'm not. So I'm sitting at a computer in La Jolla, CA...printing reports and waiting for the Thanksgiving Potluck "Let's Eat!" email to be sent out so that I can leave my desk and still be "in compliance" with our electronic schedule.
Notable notables:
- I heard "Pretty Vegas" on the radio yesterday. Rock 102.1 FM KPRI
- Depeche Mode in THREE DAYS
- Decisions: To go to the Virgin Megastore INXS signing, or not to go. That is the question that apparently only matters to me.
Sometimes I think I have the gift of gab, but then I read something and am immediately humbled.
Read on:
(From John Mayer's blog on My Space)
Dear Cherry Tomatoes,
We're cool now. I know we didn't get on real well in the past, and I think the blame has fallen somewhere between us both. You're distinct!! You really come on strong there at the beginning with that first bite. You're like, "bang! tomato!" and some people get a little taken aback by that. I know I was. I also think I was a bit misled by the name "cherry tomato". That's a tall order, referencing a delicious fruit in your name like that. I don't know if any vegetable could compare themselves to cherries and get away with it.
I've had a hard time stabbing you with my fork. Sometimes I'd have to push down six or seven times before I got hold of you, what with your being covered in slick salad dressing, and round. Sometimes I just don't feel like playing. And maybe that's my fault.
Lately, though, I've been warming up to you. I've gotten older, my tastes more refined as a result. You've been respecting yourself, showing up in perfect symmetry ensconced in the corners of my grilled chicken salad. You carry yourself differently now. I'll admit it, I think that's kind of attractive. Makes people want to be around you.
I'm not saying we should just get together, but I think it would be cool to have you on more meals and maybe see where this goes. I don't want to forget about the past, but I also don't want to harp on it. It is what it is. Let's take things slow.
Love,
John
P.S. Dear olives,
I still f**king hate you.
(From a poster named Sweet Elle on mystupidmouth.com)
1. I miss you too. And when I say I miss you, I mean I crave you. I check the NJMC (Non-John Mayer Content) every couple of days, but don't reply to threads because I am on a fast track to meth addiction and I can't devote my time to making a fool of myself in verdana when there's Sudafed to be cooked down. Also, My computer went to Mexico and never came back, so I've been busy putting ribbons up and making flyers. She answers to "Motherfucker." The computer I'm using now isn't mine, is owned and used most of the time by someone else (But I'm taking them to court) and this means that the whole John Mayer Message Board Browser History conversation is one I try to avoid, sometimes. Not because I'm ashamed of you. But because I wish you'd buy a different dress before dinner at Bennigans.
If I were that clever, I certainly would get paid for writing blogs such as these. Alas, I'm not. So I'm sitting at a computer in La Jolla, CA...printing reports and waiting for the Thanksgiving Potluck "Let's Eat!" email to be sent out so that I can leave my desk and still be "in compliance" with our electronic schedule.
Notable notables:
- I heard "Pretty Vegas" on the radio yesterday. Rock 102.1 FM KPRI
- Depeche Mode in THREE DAYS
- Decisions: To go to the Virgin Megastore INXS signing, or not to go. That is the question that apparently only matters to me.
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