Monday, March 21, 2005
Have you ever just had a realization hit you over the head, even though it's been sitting there staring at you the ENTIRE TIME?
Yes, I've had that realization today. It's sad, really...and yes, I'm being vague yet again. But I will tell you that reality has a way of sneaking up on you in your nice carefree bubble and bursting it so that you hit the ground so fucking hard that you have no alternative but to just shake your head, dust yourself off and get on with it. PLUS, you then have the nagging feeling of kicking yourself over and over, wondering why you just didn't think about it before, and again, realize that you just didn't want to realize it before.
It's always safer to dillute yourself than to actually face the reality that you've been just kidding yourself the entire time. There IS no situation. It's a non-situation.
Harder still is going back in time, looking at all the things you thought were what it was at the time it was happening, only to realize it wasn't.
So now I'm angry. I'm mostly angry at myself for being so fucking blind.
Thank GOD "Edge of Reason" comes out tomorrow. I need something to take the edge off of this feeling.
Yes, I've had that realization today. It's sad, really...and yes, I'm being vague yet again. But I will tell you that reality has a way of sneaking up on you in your nice carefree bubble and bursting it so that you hit the ground so fucking hard that you have no alternative but to just shake your head, dust yourself off and get on with it. PLUS, you then have the nagging feeling of kicking yourself over and over, wondering why you just didn't think about it before, and again, realize that you just didn't want to realize it before.
It's always safer to dillute yourself than to actually face the reality that you've been just kidding yourself the entire time. There IS no situation. It's a non-situation.
Harder still is going back in time, looking at all the things you thought were what it was at the time it was happening, only to realize it wasn't.
So now I'm angry. I'm mostly angry at myself for being so fucking blind.
Thank GOD "Edge of Reason" comes out tomorrow. I need something to take the edge off of this feeling.
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