Monday, September 13, 2004
This weekend was our annual block party. It was a very hot day, and it felt like the normal block party that we always have...up to a certain point.
It didn't hit me until my family was asked to go outside and speak, along with Councilman Lewis' mom. It was so hard. I took that micrphone and looked out at the pinic area and realized what made the whole thing off.
My dad wasn't there.
I was on the mic, where my dad usually is, greeting everyone and I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't plan on crying, but I did because I saw my mom in the distance with my family and her friends; my sister was next to me, and the person who was a staple at this event year after year was just gone.
I also remembered 9/11/01 in my speech, because I said that I knew my dad would have said something about it because of his service in the Navy.
UNLV was in the Bay Area for a jazz festival/wine tasting event. I was supposed to go with him and his uncle and dad, but the block party ended up the same weekend. Had it been next weekend, he would have come down, and I would have gone to the jazz fest.
In all honesty, I would rather have gone up there this weekend. This weekend was just too hard. It was hot, too...which fueled the uncomfortable feeling. Then my sister and her husband and their friends were all hanging out in the garage, and usually I go out there, too...but with animosity I feel towards him, I just stayed inside and pretended to sleep (I was in and out of napping, but not truly sleeping).
My mom couldn't handle it...the partying dying down and us being alone again...so she went with my aunt and uncle to the casino. She won about $1500. I think my dad has been with her in the casinos lately because my mom has been able to leave with $1000+ ever time she goes.
Something has to give. I can't live with my sister and her husband anymore. When he's gone and it's just me and my sister, we're fine. The moment he comes in, I feel like I want to throw a brick at him.
I wish I could meet John Mayer and be locked up in a studio with him or go on tour. That would be an awesome distraction.
It didn't hit me until my family was asked to go outside and speak, along with Councilman Lewis' mom. It was so hard. I took that micrphone and looked out at the pinic area and realized what made the whole thing off.
My dad wasn't there.
I was on the mic, where my dad usually is, greeting everyone and I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't plan on crying, but I did because I saw my mom in the distance with my family and her friends; my sister was next to me, and the person who was a staple at this event year after year was just gone.
I also remembered 9/11/01 in my speech, because I said that I knew my dad would have said something about it because of his service in the Navy.
UNLV was in the Bay Area for a jazz festival/wine tasting event. I was supposed to go with him and his uncle and dad, but the block party ended up the same weekend. Had it been next weekend, he would have come down, and I would have gone to the jazz fest.
In all honesty, I would rather have gone up there this weekend. This weekend was just too hard. It was hot, too...which fueled the uncomfortable feeling. Then my sister and her husband and their friends were all hanging out in the garage, and usually I go out there, too...but with animosity I feel towards him, I just stayed inside and pretended to sleep (I was in and out of napping, but not truly sleeping).
My mom couldn't handle it...the partying dying down and us being alone again...so she went with my aunt and uncle to the casino. She won about $1500. I think my dad has been with her in the casinos lately because my mom has been able to leave with $1000+ ever time she goes.
Something has to give. I can't live with my sister and her husband anymore. When he's gone and it's just me and my sister, we're fine. The moment he comes in, I feel like I want to throw a brick at him.
I wish I could meet John Mayer and be locked up in a studio with him or go on tour. That would be an awesome distraction.
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