Thursday, September 23, 2004
Taurus
Listen to what your heart is telling you right now. You know all the rushing around you've been doing lately hasn't been the best for you. You've probably missed a few things in doing so. It may not be a bad idea to double-check a few things today and make sure all of your bases are covered. While you're crossing stuff off your list, notice what kinds of things slip through the cracks when you're in a rush. Stick to your more slow and mellow style.
*sigh*
I don't know what is causing the feelings and emotional state I'm in, but things definitely are slipping through the cracks.
I was supposed to go to a party this weekend with Ten, and I completely forgot about it until she reminded me when we went to see Jordan Knight last night (yes...AGAIN...more on that later). I remember the emails now, and I decided before I remembered to go to LA to see David Ryan Harris because people are speculating that we may get a surprise visit from a "special guest", and if it's true, I don't want to miss a chance at both meeting him and seeing him in a small venue like the "old days". I'll explain who the "special guest" is after the weekend.
I really don't mean to forget stuff like that. I hate it when people forget me, and I am the first one to complain about it. But where I used to be so good at remembering events and multi-tasking, I've really been off my game lately.
And don't get me started on UNLV. I have no idea what's going through my head with him, but I can feel myself regressing to back when we were dating and I hate that. He does not have to answer to me about anything, and he has been there more than I could ever have hoped for so again, this weirdness lingering in me is the most annoying thing I've ever had to deal with.
One moment I'm right there with everyone. The next, I'm drifting in my own world. The control I have over my surroundings that I so pride myself on is just lost right now. I feel like I'm floating in Jell-O and I can't navigate or move quickly. I feel like everything is in slow motion and I'm just tired of it all.
This weekend will be strange, at best. We're supposed to have a "big talk" with myself, my mom and my sister at my uncle's house because it's neutral ground there. I know what the talk will be about, and I'm frightened of the outcome. I can't go into detail yet, but I will after this weekend.
Why can't things just be normal like they used to be? If it were, I'd be back living with my parents and my sister and husband would be elsewhere and no one would make me feel like I can't be happy in my own home. Aren't you supposed to feel like you can go home and feel like it's a sanctuary, not like it's enemy territory? Aren't you supposed to feel safe and comforted in your home, not like it's you against everyone else?
No wonder I can't sleep at night.
Listen to what your heart is telling you right now. You know all the rushing around you've been doing lately hasn't been the best for you. You've probably missed a few things in doing so. It may not be a bad idea to double-check a few things today and make sure all of your bases are covered. While you're crossing stuff off your list, notice what kinds of things slip through the cracks when you're in a rush. Stick to your more slow and mellow style.
*sigh*
I don't know what is causing the feelings and emotional state I'm in, but things definitely are slipping through the cracks.
I was supposed to go to a party this weekend with Ten, and I completely forgot about it until she reminded me when we went to see Jordan Knight last night (yes...AGAIN...more on that later). I remember the emails now, and I decided before I remembered to go to LA to see David Ryan Harris because people are speculating that we may get a surprise visit from a "special guest", and if it's true, I don't want to miss a chance at both meeting him and seeing him in a small venue like the "old days". I'll explain who the "special guest" is after the weekend.
I really don't mean to forget stuff like that. I hate it when people forget me, and I am the first one to complain about it. But where I used to be so good at remembering events and multi-tasking, I've really been off my game lately.
And don't get me started on UNLV. I have no idea what's going through my head with him, but I can feel myself regressing to back when we were dating and I hate that. He does not have to answer to me about anything, and he has been there more than I could ever have hoped for so again, this weirdness lingering in me is the most annoying thing I've ever had to deal with.
One moment I'm right there with everyone. The next, I'm drifting in my own world. The control I have over my surroundings that I so pride myself on is just lost right now. I feel like I'm floating in Jell-O and I can't navigate or move quickly. I feel like everything is in slow motion and I'm just tired of it all.
This weekend will be strange, at best. We're supposed to have a "big talk" with myself, my mom and my sister at my uncle's house because it's neutral ground there. I know what the talk will be about, and I'm frightened of the outcome. I can't go into detail yet, but I will after this weekend.
Why can't things just be normal like they used to be? If it were, I'd be back living with my parents and my sister and husband would be elsewhere and no one would make me feel like I can't be happy in my own home. Aren't you supposed to feel like you can go home and feel like it's a sanctuary, not like it's enemy territory? Aren't you supposed to feel safe and comforted in your home, not like it's you against everyone else?
No wonder I can't sleep at night.
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