Thursday, July 29, 2004
So in my anger at this HUGE lifted truck this morning that couldn't get his car in gear at the car pool light on the on ramp, I yelled (as if he could hear me): "YOU STUPID IDIOT IN YOUR PENIS-COMPENSATING TRUCK, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE THAT THING BEFORE USING IT!"
Penis-compensating truck.
I have to mention that because isn't funny the things you say in the heat of anger? When I was with one of my co-workers going to lunch, she yelled at these girls going the wrong way in the parking lot: "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY YOU STUPID DYKE CARPET ASSES!"
She had in mind "carpet munchers" and "ass holes" and combined the two in her anger. I guess it could have come out "ass munchers" but the other way was way funnier.
*sigh* (I like the sound of my name...hahaha!)
I cleaned the living room last night. I dusted, moved the rest of my CD's and DVD's out and vaccuumed...SO much nicer!
I was talking to a friend of mine last night, and he mentioned that he had a friend who was always in a bad mood because his house was cluttered. Someone suggested he hire a maid to clean up for him, and his mood changed. He said that he felt lighter and like his life was in order.
I think THAT is what's happening to me. I feel SOOOOOOO much better that the living room is in order. I feel like I've acomplished something and I feel like there is order in my life. My mind is already chaotic, so I don't want my environment to be.
THAT'S why I'm fairly more organized at work. I do have piles of papers, but very very small ones. Everything else is labelled and in a file, or a drawer in a file. I often wondered why I can do that at work but barely at home. Now I know why: my desk organization makes me feel like I have control over my environment and allows me more clarity (yes, another John Mayer reference...if he only knew...for those keeping track, thats the first song on Heavier Things).
So now, I need to feel this sense of clarity at home. My life is muddled and confusing, even if there is some beacon of hope and strength that you out there see in me. I'm in a state of needing things to be tangible because the bulk of what I'm going through is emotional. I feel so much emotion that if I see things are cluttered, the physical part of my life emulates then my mental state, and EVERYTHING is wrong with the world.
OH! I went to an FM 949 "Random Act Of Kindness" and got a free t-shirt and CD. I got the new Blink 182 album. I meant to buy it before the concert in June, but I'm glad I got it for free. I already like it...
Sorry for the digression. I'm listening to it right now, and it's soooo mature. I've got my sister's "Enema of the State" and it's so much different. I like the song with Robert Smith from The Cure on the new one called "All of This". It was HILARIOUS to see little kids who weren't even born when The Cure was at it's height wearing Cure buttons or t-shirts because of Blink. I guess if it gets them to expand their musical horizons, more power to them.
Alright...folks...ONE MORE DAY TO VEGAS!
I know I said I hate going to Vegas, but I really really REALLY need this trip away. We're renting a Crossfire because he said that we can't just stay at The Venetian and not drive up in an awesome ride. So he called me this morning and said, "it will be the cherry on top of our sundae..."
Oh yeah!
Penis-compensating truck.
I have to mention that because isn't funny the things you say in the heat of anger? When I was with one of my co-workers going to lunch, she yelled at these girls going the wrong way in the parking lot: "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY YOU STUPID DYKE CARPET ASSES!"
She had in mind "carpet munchers" and "ass holes" and combined the two in her anger. I guess it could have come out "ass munchers" but the other way was way funnier.
*sigh* (I like the sound of my name...hahaha!)
I cleaned the living room last night. I dusted, moved the rest of my CD's and DVD's out and vaccuumed...SO much nicer!
I was talking to a friend of mine last night, and he mentioned that he had a friend who was always in a bad mood because his house was cluttered. Someone suggested he hire a maid to clean up for him, and his mood changed. He said that he felt lighter and like his life was in order.
I think THAT is what's happening to me. I feel SOOOOOOO much better that the living room is in order. I feel like I've acomplished something and I feel like there is order in my life. My mind is already chaotic, so I don't want my environment to be.
THAT'S why I'm fairly more organized at work. I do have piles of papers, but very very small ones. Everything else is labelled and in a file, or a drawer in a file. I often wondered why I can do that at work but barely at home. Now I know why: my desk organization makes me feel like I have control over my environment and allows me more clarity (yes, another John Mayer reference...if he only knew...for those keeping track, thats the first song on Heavier Things).
So now, I need to feel this sense of clarity at home. My life is muddled and confusing, even if there is some beacon of hope and strength that you out there see in me. I'm in a state of needing things to be tangible because the bulk of what I'm going through is emotional. I feel so much emotion that if I see things are cluttered, the physical part of my life emulates then my mental state, and EVERYTHING is wrong with the world.
OH! I went to an FM 949 "Random Act Of Kindness" and got a free t-shirt and CD. I got the new Blink 182 album. I meant to buy it before the concert in June, but I'm glad I got it for free. I already like it...
Sorry for the digression. I'm listening to it right now, and it's soooo mature. I've got my sister's "Enema of the State" and it's so much different. I like the song with Robert Smith from The Cure on the new one called "All of This". It was HILARIOUS to see little kids who weren't even born when The Cure was at it's height wearing Cure buttons or t-shirts because of Blink. I guess if it gets them to expand their musical horizons, more power to them.
Alright...folks...ONE MORE DAY TO VEGAS!
I know I said I hate going to Vegas, but I really really REALLY need this trip away. We're renting a Crossfire because he said that we can't just stay at The Venetian and not drive up in an awesome ride. So he called me this morning and said, "it will be the cherry on top of our sundae..."
Oh yeah!
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