Wednesday, July 07, 2004
More on expectations, but even more on STRESS.
Again, not to think that everyone should be like me (because that would be one erratic and nuerotic place), but I think that people should be conscientious.
The thing I was psyching myself out about this past weekend (other than about my dad)...full moon shit. That was definitely about ME and I take ownership of that. But the thing I'm talking about now is something completely different.
Stress is relative. Don't like the sound of that? Let me explain: Stress is relative to your situation, and it is definitely what you make of it. Poor planning and being ill prepared will cause you to be stressed because you are not ready for the insurgence of activity that somehow fell upon you.
This relates back to "no one can make you feel guilty or sad without your consent." The same can be said about stress. There are stressful situations. But it is your own doing if you allow that stress to affect YOU.
From dictionary.com:
stress
6a. A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.
Ok, so what did you do or not do that caused an "adverse external influence" to happen? Did you not meet a deadline? Did you yell at someone and they yelled back? Did you forget to do something and it came back to bite you and now you're "stressed"?
I won't be so cold and say that sometimes there will be situations where someone will suddenly dump something in your lap that you didn't expect, and so you are stressed because you have to get that thing done in a certain amount of time. That can be stressful for that period in time. Once you are over that hump, then the stress should be relieved. But if you KNEW something needed to be done in a certain amount of time, but didn't do it...isn't that stress caused by yourself because you didn't plan and didn't anticipate? Someone reminding you that you didn't do it shouldn't be stressful, because if you actually did it, there would be NO STRESS, right?
RIGHT.
So back again to stress being relative. I think the biggest "adverse external influence" to happen lately is the death of my father. SO much has been going on that I can't imagine making ONE SIMPLE PHONE CALL would create such stress in one's life that it could be greater than everything that is happening as a result of my father's death. Nope, no matter how much someone cries about it, complains about it, says that "you just don't understand what I'm going through" can honestly kiss my ass.
Is this addressed to someone in particular? You bet it is. I won't mention HER name or who she is, because if she still reads my blog, I want her to realize it's her that I'm talking about, and I hope she realizes it in the first few short paragraphs.
I hate to be this mean, but I just don't get it. I don't understand how anything could be more stressful than THIS. That's the whole reason I feel that I've changed. I KNOW I have never felt this much pain. That's why my tattoo was a piece of cake. For a few minutes I was in extreme pain and I was physically stressed. But when I said to myself, "Ok, this physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional hell I've been through...so SUCK IT UP!" I was sore, and it's plenty itchy right now, but I got through it.
No stress that I could have ever felt is worse than how I felt when my father passed away. There is no feeling in comparison. I am more heartbroken now than in any short lived "relationship" I've ever been in. No amount of stress at work or at school is as distracting as what I'm going through now. I look back on those days and think "Man, I'd trade THIS for that any day."
I am not negating anyone else's stress level. Not everyone is going through the death of a parent or husband like my family is going through. But if you were in my situation, and you were able to be as resilient as I feel I am, then you would understand the extreme comparisons. To me, this is as devastating as it gets. I could go bankrupt and live in the streets, and that wouldn't matter to me because I would give everything away for my father to be alive again.
Again, not to think that everyone should be like me (because that would be one erratic and nuerotic place), but I think that people should be conscientious.
The thing I was psyching myself out about this past weekend (other than about my dad)...full moon shit. That was definitely about ME and I take ownership of that. But the thing I'm talking about now is something completely different.
Stress is relative. Don't like the sound of that? Let me explain: Stress is relative to your situation, and it is definitely what you make of it. Poor planning and being ill prepared will cause you to be stressed because you are not ready for the insurgence of activity that somehow fell upon you.
This relates back to "no one can make you feel guilty or sad without your consent." The same can be said about stress. There are stressful situations. But it is your own doing if you allow that stress to affect YOU.
From dictionary.com:
stress
6a. A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.
Ok, so what did you do or not do that caused an "adverse external influence" to happen? Did you not meet a deadline? Did you yell at someone and they yelled back? Did you forget to do something and it came back to bite you and now you're "stressed"?
I won't be so cold and say that sometimes there will be situations where someone will suddenly dump something in your lap that you didn't expect, and so you are stressed because you have to get that thing done in a certain amount of time. That can be stressful for that period in time. Once you are over that hump, then the stress should be relieved. But if you KNEW something needed to be done in a certain amount of time, but didn't do it...isn't that stress caused by yourself because you didn't plan and didn't anticipate? Someone reminding you that you didn't do it shouldn't be stressful, because if you actually did it, there would be NO STRESS, right?
RIGHT.
So back again to stress being relative. I think the biggest "adverse external influence" to happen lately is the death of my father. SO much has been going on that I can't imagine making ONE SIMPLE PHONE CALL would create such stress in one's life that it could be greater than everything that is happening as a result of my father's death. Nope, no matter how much someone cries about it, complains about it, says that "you just don't understand what I'm going through" can honestly kiss my ass.
Is this addressed to someone in particular? You bet it is. I won't mention HER name or who she is, because if she still reads my blog, I want her to realize it's her that I'm talking about, and I hope she realizes it in the first few short paragraphs.
I hate to be this mean, but I just don't get it. I don't understand how anything could be more stressful than THIS. That's the whole reason I feel that I've changed. I KNOW I have never felt this much pain. That's why my tattoo was a piece of cake. For a few minutes I was in extreme pain and I was physically stressed. But when I said to myself, "Ok, this physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional hell I've been through...so SUCK IT UP!" I was sore, and it's plenty itchy right now, but I got through it.
No stress that I could have ever felt is worse than how I felt when my father passed away. There is no feeling in comparison. I am more heartbroken now than in any short lived "relationship" I've ever been in. No amount of stress at work or at school is as distracting as what I'm going through now. I look back on those days and think "Man, I'd trade THIS for that any day."
I am not negating anyone else's stress level. Not everyone is going through the death of a parent or husband like my family is going through. But if you were in my situation, and you were able to be as resilient as I feel I am, then you would understand the extreme comparisons. To me, this is as devastating as it gets. I could go bankrupt and live in the streets, and that wouldn't matter to me because I would give everything away for my father to be alive again.
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