Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Addendum to previous entry
How does one lower their expectations? I need to know, and I need to know QUICK.
I am HORRIBLE at expecting too much of people. Just because I am always thinking about someone, doesn't mean they are always thinking about me...but that doesn't mean that they don't care.
I just get this sick feeling in my stomach and start to assume things. Then I become something that I am not, and I HATE that. All my insecurities come into play, and I end up feeling completely stupid.
BUT, this only happens when there's nothing else going on. When I have a lot of time to think about things, then I start to worry about those things I HAVE NO FUCKING CONTROL OVER.
Full circle, yet again.
This is why I go shopping. I have total control over the situation...I pay, I receive what I want and I'm satisfied. But that can cost a lot of money, and isn't very productive. It's like an eating disorder, it's very compulsive behavior.
*sigh* My lazy ass needs a new job, and needs to focus on what's important. For a brief moment in time, I forgot my priorities.
That's the last time I will do that. I am making a promise to myself to keep my priorities straight.
Now, keeping that promise is a whole other ball game...
How does one lower their expectations? I need to know, and I need to know QUICK.
I am HORRIBLE at expecting too much of people. Just because I am always thinking about someone, doesn't mean they are always thinking about me...but that doesn't mean that they don't care.
I just get this sick feeling in my stomach and start to assume things. Then I become something that I am not, and I HATE that. All my insecurities come into play, and I end up feeling completely stupid.
BUT, this only happens when there's nothing else going on. When I have a lot of time to think about things, then I start to worry about those things I HAVE NO FUCKING CONTROL OVER.
Full circle, yet again.
This is why I go shopping. I have total control over the situation...I pay, I receive what I want and I'm satisfied. But that can cost a lot of money, and isn't very productive. It's like an eating disorder, it's very compulsive behavior.
*sigh* My lazy ass needs a new job, and needs to focus on what's important. For a brief moment in time, I forgot my priorities.
That's the last time I will do that. I am making a promise to myself to keep my priorities straight.
Now, keeping that promise is a whole other ball game...
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