Wednesday, June 23, 2004
I called my mom this morning, and she said that she had a dream about my dad was so clear that it felt real. She said that he looked good, just a little thin. She asked him how is that he is ok, and he said that he went into rehab and is fine now.
My mom then said that she believes it was my dad telling her that everything is ok and that he is fine now.
I couldn't help but cry when she said that because I think she is finally coming to terms with his death. She's not totally over it by any means, but at least she is cognisant of what it all means in her life now.
I'm really focusing on other things now. Working on my diet and exercise is really helping me out because it gives me an immediate goal that I feel is very attainable right now, and I'm already seeing results. Also, work is going well, and twice they asked me if I indend on staying on and if I'm willing to be promoted when the time comes.
It's nice to know that despite the fact that I'm completely consumed with everything that's going on that I can still maintain some semblance of a normal life and that I can be successful at it. I am always worried about falling apart, and I'm glad that my survival skills have kicked in.
My only "problem" is getting the house straightened. My sister and her husband have started to tackle the house and I have very different ideas on how things should be going. Rather than cleaning up the areas of the house that have recently been cluttered so that we can make space for the big things that need to be done, they have already started piling the big things on top of the established clutter...and it's just one big huge mess.
Case in point: My mom has a large collection of mugs. They occupy several shelves and tops of cabinets. We also have large trash bags full of clothes and boxes stacked up on each other in the living room and family room. I'm going through the trash bags of my things that are on the floor of my bedroom and in the living room so that I can make room for when I start to dig into the items on my old desk and bookshelf, that way it's not piled up on top of everything. My sister and hubby started taking down the mugs and they still have tons of other crap all over the place and now eveything is just stacked up on top of it.
Basically, my house looks like the crazy old lady's house on the corner who has 20 cats and can't throw anything away.
I'm going to visit my dad's grave today, then I'm going to Ikea to buy storage for under the bed, so I can put away the clothing that I still want to keep, and keep the clothing that I love to wear in my closet space. This will clear up the bags that are just everywhere. Then I'm going to bring the boxes that were under those bags into my room so that they are out of the living and family room areas. Then I'm going to go through my old magazines and throw EVERYTHING away and get rid of the old desk and bookshelf. I'm going to continue to discard of stuff that I absolutely do not need.
Once I've pared it all down to something I can handle, then I will go back to Ikea and buy the book shelf, curio cabinet, and wardrobe I want and start to put everything away.
Now doesn't that make more sense?
If only I can do that with my life...
My mom then said that she believes it was my dad telling her that everything is ok and that he is fine now.
I couldn't help but cry when she said that because I think she is finally coming to terms with his death. She's not totally over it by any means, but at least she is cognisant of what it all means in her life now.
I'm really focusing on other things now. Working on my diet and exercise is really helping me out because it gives me an immediate goal that I feel is very attainable right now, and I'm already seeing results. Also, work is going well, and twice they asked me if I indend on staying on and if I'm willing to be promoted when the time comes.
It's nice to know that despite the fact that I'm completely consumed with everything that's going on that I can still maintain some semblance of a normal life and that I can be successful at it. I am always worried about falling apart, and I'm glad that my survival skills have kicked in.
My only "problem" is getting the house straightened. My sister and her husband have started to tackle the house and I have very different ideas on how things should be going. Rather than cleaning up the areas of the house that have recently been cluttered so that we can make space for the big things that need to be done, they have already started piling the big things on top of the established clutter...and it's just one big huge mess.
Case in point: My mom has a large collection of mugs. They occupy several shelves and tops of cabinets. We also have large trash bags full of clothes and boxes stacked up on each other in the living room and family room. I'm going through the trash bags of my things that are on the floor of my bedroom and in the living room so that I can make room for when I start to dig into the items on my old desk and bookshelf, that way it's not piled up on top of everything. My sister and hubby started taking down the mugs and they still have tons of other crap all over the place and now eveything is just stacked up on top of it.
Basically, my house looks like the crazy old lady's house on the corner who has 20 cats and can't throw anything away.
I'm going to visit my dad's grave today, then I'm going to Ikea to buy storage for under the bed, so I can put away the clothing that I still want to keep, and keep the clothing that I love to wear in my closet space. This will clear up the bags that are just everywhere. Then I'm going to bring the boxes that were under those bags into my room so that they are out of the living and family room areas. Then I'm going to go through my old magazines and throw EVERYTHING away and get rid of the old desk and bookshelf. I'm going to continue to discard of stuff that I absolutely do not need.
Once I've pared it all down to something I can handle, then I will go back to Ikea and buy the book shelf, curio cabinet, and wardrobe I want and start to put everything away.
Now doesn't that make more sense?
If only I can do that with my life...
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