Tuesday, June 08, 2004
"He Sizzles!"
"He's Fantastic!"
"Call your dad anytime with our new Nextel phone!"
"Celebrate with Dads and Grads!"
I've been walking to the mall everyday, just to get some exercise in because I need to...and I pass Restoration Hardware, among other places, which are advertising Father's Day.
It's like someone has taken my heart out and stomped on it, then placed it back in my chest to see if I can make it work again. My eyes well up every time, and I feel very self conscious because I'm fine one moment, then on the verge of tears the next.
The toughest part is seeing kids who are being brats to their parents. I feel like taking them and shaking them because they should cherish the moments they have. They will take Father's Day for granted as the day they "have to get dad a gift or treat him nice".
But you know, I felt that way, too. I had no idea that at the age of 34 that I wouldn't have my father around. Who could predict something like that?
I think I'm going to miss my mom more than I ever have when she goes to Canada. I think that it will be extremely bittersweet because her vacationing there will give my sister and I the much needed time we have been craving to do everything we have to do to make the house livable. Right now it's in a sorry state of disarray and I can't stand sleeping on the couch anymore. Conversely, it will make me realize that I have only one parent. One is gone never to return, and the other is out of my sight...which is going to mildly freak me out.
I say "mildly" because I'll at least be able to speak to her and call her. I can't call my dad. I really need to hear my daddy's voice right now, but I can't bring myself to watch my sister's wedding tapes.
Random thought: Ronald Regan died on Saturday. I know my dad has met him by now. I'd actually been thinking about that since I heard the news this weekend. My dad was such a staunch Republican. It was inevitable that thought would cross my mind. Seeing the flag drapped on President Regan's casket reminded me that my father had the same thing.
I'm sure they're hanging out, musing about the state of affairs down here. I'm sure my dad is braging about his family...
except for the fact that his daughters are Democrats.
"He's Fantastic!"
"Call your dad anytime with our new Nextel phone!"
"Celebrate with Dads and Grads!"
I've been walking to the mall everyday, just to get some exercise in because I need to...and I pass Restoration Hardware, among other places, which are advertising Father's Day.
It's like someone has taken my heart out and stomped on it, then placed it back in my chest to see if I can make it work again. My eyes well up every time, and I feel very self conscious because I'm fine one moment, then on the verge of tears the next.
The toughest part is seeing kids who are being brats to their parents. I feel like taking them and shaking them because they should cherish the moments they have. They will take Father's Day for granted as the day they "have to get dad a gift or treat him nice".
But you know, I felt that way, too. I had no idea that at the age of 34 that I wouldn't have my father around. Who could predict something like that?
I think I'm going to miss my mom more than I ever have when she goes to Canada. I think that it will be extremely bittersweet because her vacationing there will give my sister and I the much needed time we have been craving to do everything we have to do to make the house livable. Right now it's in a sorry state of disarray and I can't stand sleeping on the couch anymore. Conversely, it will make me realize that I have only one parent. One is gone never to return, and the other is out of my sight...which is going to mildly freak me out.
I say "mildly" because I'll at least be able to speak to her and call her. I can't call my dad. I really need to hear my daddy's voice right now, but I can't bring myself to watch my sister's wedding tapes.
Random thought: Ronald Regan died on Saturday. I know my dad has met him by now. I'd actually been thinking about that since I heard the news this weekend. My dad was such a staunch Republican. It was inevitable that thought would cross my mind. Seeing the flag drapped on President Regan's casket reminded me that my father had the same thing.
I'm sure they're hanging out, musing about the state of affairs down here. I'm sure my dad is braging about his family...
except for the fact that his daughters are Democrats.
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