any second now...

My mom shut off my dad's cell phone.

I called my dad's cell phone, just to hear his voice, and the automated "We're sorry, but you have reached a number that is no longer in service..." came on.

I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me because I was expecting to hear "This is Roger, sorry I missed your call. Please leave a short message and I will call you back, thank you..." But it wasn't there.

I looked for my cell phone and was going to erase my dad's number from my directory...but I couldn't do it.

I was SO bothered by it yesterday. I cried all the way home. I couldn't stop crying until I got to my exit from the freeway. I had to stop because I was picking up my mom to go to dinner.

Later that night, I asked her about Dad's phone. She said that she had to turn it off because no one was using it. She never gathered enough courage to listen to the message because he sounded so alive, like he could walk through the front door at any moment.

This song makes me cry, everytime I hear it...

My Immortal
Evenescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have

All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though your still with me
I've been alone all along

I know it's about a long lost lover, but it could apply to someone who has passed away, too. To me, it's about loss. It's haunting and just recalls a lot of deep feelings when I hear the piano.