Friday, April 30, 2004
I visited my father's grave today...and it hit me really hard today. I sobbed until my eyes were swollen.
It's very difficult to come to grips with the reality of it all. It's not easy at all. There is nothing harder than this. I have never missed anyone so much in my life. I have never grieved as deeply as I am at this very moment.
It never hits home until I step onto the grass and walk down the hill to the spot where my father now lies. It's so final.
I'm going to LA this weekend to hang out with one of my friends. It should be a good weekend because it will be nice to just hang out.
Next week is my birthday, and I'm going to Disneyland with another friend. We're going the Friday before my actual birthday, so it will be a lot of fun.
But the rest of that weekend will be a little bit harder because it will be my first birthday, my mom's first anniversary and first mother's day without my father.
It's so strange how hard firsts always are...especially when it has to do with something so...last...
It's very difficult to come to grips with the reality of it all. It's not easy at all. There is nothing harder than this. I have never missed anyone so much in my life. I have never grieved as deeply as I am at this very moment.
It never hits home until I step onto the grass and walk down the hill to the spot where my father now lies. It's so final.
I'm going to LA this weekend to hang out with one of my friends. It should be a good weekend because it will be nice to just hang out.
Next week is my birthday, and I'm going to Disneyland with another friend. We're going the Friday before my actual birthday, so it will be a lot of fun.
But the rest of that weekend will be a little bit harder because it will be my first birthday, my mom's first anniversary and first mother's day without my father.
It's so strange how hard firsts always are...especially when it has to do with something so...last...
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