Monday, April 26, 2004
I had the strangest dream yesterday.
I dreamt that my mom, sister and I were all at this church or something. All I remember is that it was theater like seating, but we weren't at a movie or play. My mom was angry with us for some reason. I looked up at our seats and I see that there are 4 seats with jackets or something on the backs of the seats. I see that from where I'm looking up at the seats, there's an empty seat next to my mom on her right (my left as I'm looking up), and there are 2 seats to her left for me and my sister.
I walk up to the seats and sit in front of the one that my mom has saved and shake my head. I look at my mom, and she isn't looking at me. I say to her "Mom, why are you doing this?" and she leaves. I then talk to the empty seat and ask dad why he hasn't let us go yet, and my head is down. When I look up, he's there. He said "I'm not ready, not yet..."
I woke up and sobbed.
I'm not sure what that means. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be one of those transversed dreams where I'm actually not the one who's ready to let go.
My sister and I went out to lunch yesterday. Everytime we get together, we finally get the chance to talk about everything that's on our minds about Dad. It starts off so heavy, but we need it. My mom was away for the weekend, and she needed that, too.
It fluctuates between easy and difficult, and right now it's difficult.
I'm going to see the councelor tonight. I told my mom and sister about it, and my mom acutally volunteered to go. I thought that was a remarkable breakthrough.
Baby steps.
I dreamt that my mom, sister and I were all at this church or something. All I remember is that it was theater like seating, but we weren't at a movie or play. My mom was angry with us for some reason. I looked up at our seats and I see that there are 4 seats with jackets or something on the backs of the seats. I see that from where I'm looking up at the seats, there's an empty seat next to my mom on her right (my left as I'm looking up), and there are 2 seats to her left for me and my sister.
I walk up to the seats and sit in front of the one that my mom has saved and shake my head. I look at my mom, and she isn't looking at me. I say to her "Mom, why are you doing this?" and she leaves. I then talk to the empty seat and ask dad why he hasn't let us go yet, and my head is down. When I look up, he's there. He said "I'm not ready, not yet..."
I woke up and sobbed.
I'm not sure what that means. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be one of those transversed dreams where I'm actually not the one who's ready to let go.
My sister and I went out to lunch yesterday. Everytime we get together, we finally get the chance to talk about everything that's on our minds about Dad. It starts off so heavy, but we need it. My mom was away for the weekend, and she needed that, too.
It fluctuates between easy and difficult, and right now it's difficult.
I'm going to see the councelor tonight. I told my mom and sister about it, and my mom acutally volunteered to go. I thought that was a remarkable breakthrough.
Baby steps.
Comments:
Post a Comment
