any second now...

Last night we had a "family meeting" about what's going to happen with the rest of this year.

I'm still in disbelief that I'm having these discussions because my father really isn't coming back.

And here I've bounced back to phase 1 (shock and denial for all who don't want to scroll down). It's kinda like I feel like my dad is on vacation and will return with presents and everything will be ok again.

But it's not. Dad isn't on some business trip. I know where he is.

I hate crying everyday. It's not that I feel weak or anything. I'm just so tired of crying all the time. It's debilitating.

There's this book that I was reading called "How to Survive The Loss of a Love". I can't remember the authors, but it's a great book about loss...even if it's not related to death. It's set up with several numbered sections so that you can just go to the part that you need. Following each page of recommendations and support is a poem. It's uplifting and let's you know that it's normal to feel these things that are going on.

I always feel like I have to end each entry with some kind of concluding thought...even though I know I'll be back on here at some point today.

I don't have one right now.