Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I had no idea my mother was so scared of being alone. Scared to the point where she won't travel alone or stay home alone unless she knows someone will return.
We saw a councelor for the first time to deal with the grief and loss of my father. My brother in law did not attend, but I guess it indirectly affects him personally, but directly affects him due to my sister. It wasn't a guided session or anything...merely a way of letting the councelor know where we were all coming from so that if we were to return for another session, then she would know what to ask.
I didn't realize how I was perceived. I don't mean to come off abrasive or brash. I don't mean to be condescending. I am an emotional person, but I guess when the emotions are too great to the point of almost being melodramatic, it frustrates me that anyone would need that kind of drama.
I tried that approach once (ok, maybe more than ONCE), and it made me feel like the worst example of myself. I hate to be out of control (especially when inebrieated), and when I'm feeling insecure like my mother feels, that's when it comes out.
I feel very guarded. Even at the session last night, I spoke my feelings in a very logical way. I didn't quite let go. I think if I had a one one session with the councelor that I could be more free with my feelings.
Maybe not.
I wish I could take away my mother's heartbreak. I wish I could fill the emptiness my sister feels inside.
"Somethings missing, and I don't know how to fix it..."
We saw a councelor for the first time to deal with the grief and loss of my father. My brother in law did not attend, but I guess it indirectly affects him personally, but directly affects him due to my sister. It wasn't a guided session or anything...merely a way of letting the councelor know where we were all coming from so that if we were to return for another session, then she would know what to ask.
I didn't realize how I was perceived. I don't mean to come off abrasive or brash. I don't mean to be condescending. I am an emotional person, but I guess when the emotions are too great to the point of almost being melodramatic, it frustrates me that anyone would need that kind of drama.
I tried that approach once (ok, maybe more than ONCE), and it made me feel like the worst example of myself. I hate to be out of control (especially when inebrieated), and when I'm feeling insecure like my mother feels, that's when it comes out.
I feel very guarded. Even at the session last night, I spoke my feelings in a very logical way. I didn't quite let go. I think if I had a one one session with the councelor that I could be more free with my feelings.
Maybe not.
I wish I could take away my mother's heartbreak. I wish I could fill the emptiness my sister feels inside.
"Somethings missing, and I don't know how to fix it..."
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