any second now...

I called my dad's cell phone this morning because I knew my mom isn't using it, so I know it's not on.

I just needed to hear his voice. I feel like I don't want to forget what he sounds like, and althought I can imagine it vividly in my mind...I don't want that vividness to fade.

I was going to watch a video tape of my sister's wedding, but that may be too much for me. Maybe I'll watch it with my sister when my mom is out.

My sister is my Godsend. She and I have been able to go do things alone more often and be silly (we were playing jacks last night and realized how uncoordinated we've become in our 30's). When I moved out, I didn't see her as often and I started to miss her company. Now I see her everyday, and I'm so glad that I do.

My sister is the one person who I can cry with at any time because I know she will allow me to do it without worrying about trying to console me. She knows her presense is comfort enough. We have a secret language. We have an understanding.

I love her with all my heart, and both of our hearts are aching for our father.